“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”
Good morning! Valentine’s Day is just two days away, and, as you know by now, I’m very excited to be exploring the topic of “Love” with you this month!
Today, I have a wonderful article for you by SoulfulLiving.com columnist, author and wedding officiant Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, called “Marry Yourself First.”
I think you will enjoy this fun, transformative and empowering article very much. Let me be the first to wish you “Congratulations” on your marriage to yourself! =)
by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
There is nothing in the world that beats the feeling of falling in love and being in love! Many of us fantasize of meeting our perfect match and being swept off our feet…yet more and more of us think of relationships as a life partnership that gives us sustenance and allow us to share our selves and our love in a deep and soulful way. We long for a strong and happy union and marriage, as well as a home life that offers security and is sturdy enough to be the foundation for all else we do in the world.
With so many people expressing so much desire for true love, why are so many still searching? Why do many people fear love may never come? The reasons are many, and as complex as each individual who desires true love. Yet in my 25 years of experience as a journalist specializing in relationships, and then a minister, wedding officiant and spiritual counselor, there are two things that crop up time and time again. One is that many people tend to think magically about love without doing the practical and emotional work to draw a relationship to them … and keep it healthy and alive. And second is that many of us skip important steps to creating the relationship of their dreams by forgetting the cardinal rule of love relationships — in order to experience genuine, mature love with another, we first must love ourselves.
I have said it before and I will stress it again: Your first stop on the road to romance is with You! Looking for love externally, and even finding someone who seems to adore you, can be a fleeting thing if you do not have a strong foundation of self-esteem and if you do not continually empower your own sense of self-worth. It is the esteem of one’s self and honoring of oneself that opens the door to another to do the same. I believe this is a spiritual law that guides the world of love relationships.
I’ve witnessed regularly what is possible for women, and men, when they do the work on themselves that allows them to connect with another human being on a deep and soulful level. I see it in women who have worked on tapping into The Goddess Within and who have begun to see themselves as divine and hence are treated that way. I have seen it in men who, once unsure of themselves and shy, realize that they are worthy of the love of a wonderful woman. I see it all the time in the couples that step up to the altar on their wedding day and truly connect to one another’s souls with the deepest kind of love and communion as they speak their wedding vows to one another.
How do they do it? There is no magic pill. It is a combination of taking the steps to changes one’s self image and negative beliefs about love and commitment, and the sheer power of the universe, which will always work with you when you are working on yourself! Sometimes, it helps to fake it until your make it. I don’t mean that you should be inauthentic, I just mean it cannot hurt to “act out” the new way of being you would like to create … and do what kids do when they are trying to learn how to master things in the world. They pretend and play act. Play acting self esteem and love is not a goofy thing, it can actually be an empowering way to retrain your subconscious mind to agree that, “YES, I AM worthy of love, happiness and a great relationship with self, as well as others.”
A Self Love Ceremony
There are many steps to the practical and emotional work that any one of us may be called to do in a lifetime and I advocate that you take all the steps you must to make yourself the best you can be, and to prepare for love in a sensible and soulful way. In addition to the more mundane and sometimes emotionally demanding tasks of getting ready for love, ritual helps to give us a head start on any life project. That’s why marriage ceremonies are so important. They create the sacred container for our goals and dreams; they give power to our aspirations for a loving lifetime relationship. They set the stage for how a couple in love will handle the challenges of relationships as they navigate the waters of life together. If you want to make a powerful statement about your readiness for love…marry yourself first...
Copyright Laurie Sue Brockway. All Rights Reserved.
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Wishing you a day filled with love!