“I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day,
a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic
waiting somewhere behind the morning.“
—J. B. Priestly

Good morning! I have a terrific article on “New Beginnings” to share with you today by author Robin Silverman. Robin’s books include: “The Ten Gifts: Find the Personal Peace You’ve Always Wanted Through the Ten Gifts You’ve Always Had” and “Something Wonderful Is about to Happen: True Stories of People Who Found Happiness in Unexpected Places.”

In her article, “Energizing New Beginnings,” she asks us to look at new beginnings in a new way and to “let them go” in order to make them last. I hope you enjoy her article!

I wish you a lovely weekend, and I’ll look forward to introducing our February “Theme of the Month” to you on Monday. Hint: I can promise you it will warm your heart ♥

“Energizing New Beginnings“

by Robin Silverman

There is always great energy around new beginnings.  When we fall in love with someone or something in our lives, we magnify the good in it or them and tend to rationalize or diminish any possible downsides.  The usual barriers to change—including fear of risk or leaving our comfort zones—disappear, at least for a little while.

New beginnings stir hope; hope that we are more or can have more than we have ever had before.  Something wonderFULL is happening or is about to happen!  Our senses are stirred, our hearts are open, and we welcome every pleasant sensation.  We awaken every day expecting to be delighted by what we discover.

Eventually, though, what was new is not any longer.  Our beloved tells the same joke for the fifth time, and the punchline is no longer funny because we already know it.  The initial excitement of our new job turns to the drudgery of everyday work. The thrill of our new home fades when the decorating isn’t finished or the dishwasher breaks down.  Eventually, we find ourselves longing for new beginnings again.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, as it keeps the fires of creation burning.  But for some people, it leads to living in the past or worse—not really living at all.  So what makes the radiance of new beginnings last?  Letting them go.

This seems counter-intuitive.  Why would we release something that thrills us to the core?  Because when we hold onto something, we limit it, and ourselves.  Energy wants to transform, not be contained.  This is because the energy of new beginnings is truly love in motion.  We want something new and call it to us, but then, far too often, we try to control or hold on to it, and it fizzles fast.  However, when we release its positive energy, it goes out into the universe and seeks its match in character, tone and intensity.  When it does, it returns to our lives in delightfully surprising ways.

So what does it mean to release a new beginning? It is to become fully aware and awake to what is happening, using our five physical senses and our sixth sense. These are the details that stay in our memory as well as the blessings we have to give.

Once we have received and taken in all we can, we can release it in a myriad of ways.  We can share our good mood by sharing it with another. We can hum, sing, dance or make art.  We can pour ourselves into our work without expectation. The idea is to let the energy flow out of us and back into the world, not hoard it to ourselves.

Other ways to release new beginnings include taking the love and joy of them into meditation, and letting them be transformed into a deep peace that all is truly well with us and our world. Once that happens, our very presence becomes a light to others; people can feel our positive energy without our having to say or do anything…

Click Here to Continue Reading “Energizing New Beginnings”

Copyright Robin Silverman. All Rights Reserved.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments about Robin’s article! Please scroll down and leave your comments below.

And, if you haven’t already done so, be sure to pick up your special package of inspirational goodness exclusively for our Daily Soul Retreat Newsletter Subscribers — a “Soul Retreat Gift Pack” filled with over $300 worth of Ecourses, Ebooks, Audio Workshops and Meditations, donated by our awesome SoulfulLiving.com authors. If you aren’t already subscribed, click here for all the details. If you are already subscribed, watch your Daily Soul Retreats for all the details.

Wishing you many lasting new beginnings!

Soulfully,
Valerie

Share the Inspiration with Your Friends…

“Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin.
Beginning makes the conditions perfect.“
—Alan Cohen

Good morning! I have a great article on “new beginnings” for you this morning by longtime SoulfulLiving.com columnist, Bret S. Beall. His article is certain to inspire and encourage you to make some positive new changes in your life this year!

Enjoy ♥

“New Beginnings! New Hope!”

by Bret S. Beall

With January here, it is appropriate for many of us to think about resolutions, change, new beginnings and hope for the future.  While we certainly can (and should) think about these things any day or month of the year, the symbolism of a new year is very strong, and often gives us additional incentive to accomplish what we want to do!

Why might one want to start over?  Maybe our job isn’t meeting our needs.  Maybe we’ve had some sort of loss.  Maybe our lives feel out of control, and we want to take charge.  Maybe we have had troubles, and now it’s time to leave them behind and start fresh.  Or maybe we just had a bad day, and we want to turn it into a good day.  It could be anything, big or small.  All that matters is that we want to change.

If you are reading this and thinking, “Yeah!  I need a new beginning!” then you’ve already taken the most important step of all.  Just acknowledging your need is the first step toward solutions.  Congratulations!  Let’s keep that momentum now!

It’s very important to define exactly what the problem is.  Are you not making enough money?  Are you working too hard?  Are you not getting the respect or acknowledgement that you deserve?  Are you missing someone who has left you by moving away, breaking up, or dying?  Are you tired of being overweight, or smoking, or drinking too much?  Are you partaking in some other behavior you’d prefer to leave behind, like spending too much time on the Internet, or watching too much TV, or spending too much money?  Are you keeping a secret that is holding you back?  Are you denying your true self?

Once you’ve defined your need, you must develop a strategy to solve/resolve it.  Because every issue has a unique fix, I need to move from the general to the specific by sharing some personal anecdotes.  I hope you’ll be able to find some hope from my examples…

Click Here to Continue Reading “New Beginnings! New Hope!”

Copyright Bret S. Beall. All Rights Reserved.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments about Bret’s article! Please scroll down and leave your comments below.

And, if you haven’t already done so, be sure to pick up your special package of inspirational goodness exclusively for our Daily Soul Retreat Newsletter Subscribers — a “Soul Retreat Gift Pack” filled with over $300 worth of Ecourses, Ebooks, Audio Workshops and Meditations, donated by our awesome SoulfulLiving.com authors. If you aren’t already subscribed, click here for all the details. If you are already subscribed, watch your Daily Soul Retreats for all the details.

Wishing you a beautiful new day!

Soulfully,
Valerie

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“When we dwell in the senses, we downshift from a rushed pace into the slower pace of organic life.
Emotions and mind come into resonance with the deep rhythms of the body, promoting integration and well-being.
We notice the beauty around us, and we use it to grow.”
—Bonnie Gold Bell

Good morning! I hope this winter morning finds you warm, comfortable, and safe if you live in the Northeast  United States. I am dealing with a frozen pipe this morning. It got very, very cold here overnight, and despite my best efforts to protect my pipes, one still froze. Aargh. I am awaiting Roto Rooter as I type this. Wish me good luck!

I have a special article for you this morning, by mandala artist Bonnie Gold Bell. She and her artist husband, David Todd, have been creating beautiful mandala imagery for over a decade. I know Bonnie because I have sold her lovely mandala art prints at SoulfulLiving.com’s online store,  The Mandala Collection for many years, and she has been kind enough to contribute some very lovely and meaningful articles to SoulfulLiving.com over the years.

I have just “officially” reopened The Mandala Collection overnight, after a store redesign and redevelopment. Many of our long-time subscribers will remember it. The store opened in 2001 and thrived for a number of years, but I was forced to close it during the recession, because, well, people just weren’t buying gifts and healing tools during that time — me included. I am excited to reopen the store today, and I hope you will visit and have a look around. I’m still adding products, but, for the most part, it’s open for business! Hooray!

I think you will love this article by Bonnie. She is a very intuitive and soulful woman and this is a deeply touching article about how she used her “senses” to help her heal from stage 4 cancer and “become new.” I hope you find it as touching and meaningful as I have. May it help empower you in your progress of moving forward toward your goals and “becoming new,” too!

Enjoy ♥

“Becoming New: Using Your Six Senses to Empower Your Progress”

by Bonnie Gold Bell

You have powerful tools for making progress right in your own hands—and your eyes, nose, mouth, ears and heart. By actively using all six of your senses, you can harness great energy for moving forward and be filled with pleasure in the process. Whether you need to make progress in healing or in realizing other goals, your senses are your inborn allies.

I say this with confidence because my own recovery from advanced cancer has been so empowered by engaging my senses. They have worked like keys to unlock deep resources and capacities. From my cells to my spirit, I have been blessed by my interaction with the living elements around me. In the face of intense challenge, they have helped me to become new. I hope this brief celebration of the senses will support you in your own exploration.

How Does It Work?

Using your senses to become new involves drawing in the beauty-essence of the natural world through each sensory channel. For instance, you can take in the sight of a colorful rose, inhale its scent and touch its soft petals. The uplifting beauty-essence of the flower is really the active agent, and your senses are the means by which you absorb that essence. Input from the senses triggers the organic messaging system that activates responses in your body, mind and spirit. Both modern science and sacred science confirm this effect. We are constantly responding to the sensory stimuli around us. When what we take in feels good to us, it alters our state toward health and optimum functioning.

I use the rose as an example because I have gotten so much healing pleasure from that specific plant. When I first got my diagnosis of stage 4 breast cancer, I knew I had to gain space from the doom that seemed to represent. I had been working with essential oils for some years and was aware that rose oil has perhaps the highest vibration of all the essences. The smell of roses has the capacity to truly lift the spirits and ease the heart. Whenever I began to feel stuck in negativity, I opened the bottle on my desk and breathed it in deeply. I had been lucky to receive a bottle of rose oil as a gift. Since it is extremely expensive, I mostly just smelled the oil. But if I felt overwhelmed, I would put a tiny drop on my heart.

I grow roses on my deck, so I also spent time outside with the flowers. Their visible beauty gave me new life through my eyes, while their scent comforted me. I further worked with the roses by creating images out of them. My husband, David Sun Todd, and I create healing art sourced in natural objects. In this case, we put our rose blossoms directly on our digital scanner and turned them into vibrant mandalas (see “CenterPeace” below). This way, I could gaze on the beauty of the roses all year long and draw on their restorative essence. The roses, many other plants and flowers, the animals and the rocks around me have been my active allies in making new art and a new me.

My senses were, of course, only part of what restored me. I want to acknowledge the incredible help I got from family and friends and especially my husband, David. He evolved a whole system of healing just to help me. I was graced to find my way to wonderful healers of every persuasion and treatments that supported my recovery. I renewed a very deep soul connection with the many-formed Goddess and other spirit allies. But, without a doubt, one of the reasons that I am so well today is that I used my senses to feed on the beauty of life.

Make no mistake, beauty is strong medicine. Like love, its emotional counterpart, beauty is a force of positive change. Our hearts and bodies are awakened in its presence. Even when nothing else can penetrate our suffering, we can be moved by beauty’s touch. It arouses us in ways that benefit both body and emotions. It turns on cascades of chemical support to the cells. In its embrace, we can walk past limits that otherwise seem too daunting. So when I say that taking in beauty through my senses helped me move forward, I mean that most literally…

Click Here to Continue Reading “Becoming New”

Copyright Bonnie Gold Bell. All Rights Reserved.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments about Bonnie’s article! Please scroll down and leave your comments below.

And, if you haven’t already done so, be sure to pick up your special package of inspirational goodness exclusively for our Daily Soul Retreat Newsletter Subscribers — a “Soul Retreat Gift Pack” filled with over $300 worth of Ecourses, Ebooks, Audio Workshops and Meditations, donated by our awesome SoulfulLiving.com authors. If you aren’t already subscribed, click here for all the details. If you are already subscribed, watch your Daily Soul Retreats for all the details.

Wishing you a beautiful new day!

Soulfully,
Valerie

Share the Inspiration with Your Friends…

“Much of what our life presents to us is a direct
reflection of how much we love ourselves.”
—Michelle Morris Spieker

Good morning! I hope you enjoyed a wonderful long weekend! I have a terrific article for you this morning, by author Michelle Morris Spieker, called, “Cherish Yourself.” Michelle is the author of the book, The Cherished Self, and I know you will love her article.

When we cherish ourselves, we naturally honor the longings in our hearts, become more authentic in how we live our lives, feel more joy and passion. And, we find the courage to embark on new life journeys, projects, passions, and dreams!

Enjoy ♥

“Cherish Yourself”

by Michelle Morris Spieker

Somewhere along the journey toward living the life of our dreams, we lost our way. We forgot the importance of taking care of ourselves, of nurturing our soul, and of filling the well in order to live the life we’ve been longing for. Yes, somewhere along life’s path, we forgot to cherish ourselves.

Roles in society are expanding more and more. We strive to accomplish, manage, organize, direct, and star — all in an attempt to make our lives richer, fuller, more meaningful. Yet as we look outward for fulfillment, we are depleting the essential source of nourishment to the soul — the self.

Unfortunately, many of us are busy doing things mostly for others, and as a result, we tend to neglect ourselves. Some people might say it’s selfish to do nice things for yourself. But what’s actually dangerous is giving so much to others that we deplete ourselves.

When we slow down and make giving to ourselves a high priority, we are cherishing ourselves. Soon we begin to have a glow about us. We start to have more energy. And we make healthier choices in all areas of our life. When we address our inner needs and nurture our authentic selves, all areas of our lives improve.

After deciding to cherish myself, my life miraculously transformed. I welcomed true love, discovered my passion for working in the field of personal empowerment, let go of struggle, and found the courage to be my true self. I can look back now and say that the twists and turns of life that led me to this point all make sense, but I had a choice to make and so do you. I could have continued on the path of not loving myself and my life would have proceeded as a series of events and dramas to painfully awaken my soul. What I did instead was to make a decision to love and cherish myself and a whole new journey of life began.

So take a moment, breathe, and decide to cherish yourself.

The key to cherishing yourself is recognizing that you are valuable, lovable and definitely worth being cherished. Once you are ready to make this decision for yourself, you will discover an inner confidence that was trapped just behind your fears.

Be aware that there is a distinction between wanting to cherish yourself and actually fully accepting that you are worth being cherished. When you accept in your heart that you are worth cherishing, from that moment forward your life is enhanced…

Click Here to Continue Reading “Cherish Yourself”

Copyright Michelle Morris Spieker. All Rights Reserved.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments about Michelle’s article! Please scroll down and leave your comments below.

And, if you haven’t already done so, be sure to pick up your special package of inspirational goodness exclusively for our Daily Soul Retreat Newsletter Subscribers — a “Soul Retreat Gift Pack” filled with over $300 worth of Ecourses, Ebooks, Audio Workshops and Meditations, donated by our awesome SoulfulLiving.com authors. If you aren’t already subscribed, click here for all the details. If you are already subscribed, watch your Daily Soul Retreats for all the details.

Wishing you a cherished day!

Soulfully,
Valerie

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“Each breath is a de facto fresh start. Use it as such. With each inhalation, open your mind and therefore the door to the winds of change. Breathe in what you want to see realized while at the same time exhaling what no longer serves you.”
— Wayne Hatford (Valentino Speaks)

Good morning! I’m very pleased to share this morning’s article with you by author Wayne Hatford. Wayne offers us a beautiful piece of writing for our “New Beginnings” theme this month, called, ‘Fresh Starts,” which is excerpted from his fabulous book, “Valentino Speaks: The Wisdom of Rudolph Valentino; Cues and Views from the Other Side.”

Wishing you a fresh new start today! Enjoy ♥

“Fresh Starts”

by Wayne Hatford

(Excerpted from Valentino Speaks)

“A fresh start is the equivalent of being fully present in the NOW. We literally make a fresh start each time we take a breath. As a matter of fact, every breath is both a re-birth and an opportunity for us to see what’s up. The ‘fresh start’ point of power is the realization that each inhalation gives us an opportunity to examine what is currently going on in our lives. Breath is an awakener. Just one inhalation/exhalation cycle may be all that’s needed to catch ourselves in action, causing us to reflect on what we are doing and why. By continually checking-in, we’re able to make more informed decisions and, as a consequence, effect mid-course corrections.

If we can but consciously embrace the breath-centered awakenings I refer to here as fresh starts, we’ll find ourselves becoming increasingly more aware. The practice of yoga and other body-centered disciplines put great emphasis on working with the breath. This is not by accident. When we focus on breathing not only do we feel more alive but we’re also able to go inward. It is in the breath that our disparate parts are able to dialogue and come to terms with each other.

Breathing is evidence of Spirit, the animating principle, and the primary mechanism by which the soul and personality stay in tune with each other.

Fresh starts also offer us opportunities to unhook from karmic patterns that may have outgrown their usefulness. With each breath, there are choices to be made. Do we choose to do something new or do we trod the ‘something old’ pathway, welcome in its familiarity yet at the same time rather uninspiring? This is an age-old dilemma. Hopefully, we’ll find ourselves opting for something new more often than not. Repeating the tried and true has its blessings and may even be prudent at times but by exclusively focusing on what’s old we create a lack of forward momentum.

At some time or another, most of us have been known to say ‘been there, done that, nothing new.’ But, that’s just not true. In fact, each moment in our mutually agreed-upon construct known as time and space is, by definition, new. Therefore, no one can ever claim to have done it all because that is an impossibility. What we often do, however, is revert to our default behavior whenever it seems expedient. If, on the other hand, we decide to behave differently we’re all the more likely to fine-tune or enhance ‘what is’ ~ while in the process of discovering what can be.

My advice is to be creative in your moment to moment decision-making. By being conscious about what we are choosing to do and why, not only are we supporting our natural inclinations, we are open to change…”

Click Here to Continue Reading “Fresh Starts”

Copyright Wayne Hatford. All Rights Reserved.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments about Wayne’s article! Please scroll down and leave your comments below.

And, if you haven’t already done so, be sure to pick up your special package of inspirational goodness exclusively for our Daily Soul Retreat Newsletter Subscribers — a “Soul Retreat Gift Pack” filled with over $300 worth of Ecourses, Ebooks, Audio Workshops and Meditations, donated by our awesome SoulfulLiving.com authors. If you aren’t already subscribed, click here for all the details. If you are already subscribed, watch your Daily Soul Retreats for all the details.

Wishing you a fresh new day!

Soulfully,
Valerie

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“You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner.
If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you.”
– Barbara Sher

Good morning! I hope you enjoyed a wonderful weekend! I’m very excited to share this morning’s article with you, entitled, “New Beginnings,” by award-winning author and transformation coach Alan Seale.

Alan is the director of the Center for Transformational Presence and the author of five books, including “Soul Mission * Life Vision,” “The Manifestation Wheel,” Intuitive Living,” “The Power of Your Presence,” and his newest, “Create a World that Works.”

Alan’s article is sure to inspire you to start each moment of each day anew!

Enjoy ♥

“New Beginnings”

by Alan Seale

What if every single day offered you the opportunity for a completely fresh start to life—a chance to start with a clean slate—no baggage, no expectations, nothing holding you back?  The truth is, it does!  Every single day, and actually every moment and every breath you take is an opportunity to expand beyond what has been and step into the next moment of possibility.  You may absolutely love what has been, or you may have regrets or be facing challenges that make you wonder how things will ever turn around.  Regardless of your situation, each breath you take can usher you into new possibility.

The key is choice.  You have the opportunity to choose in every moment to free yourself of what was, as fantastic or challenging as it may have been, and step forward into the next moment.  You can choose to “shed skin,” in a manner of speaking, as you walk through your day, instantly growing the appropriate “new skin” to meet the next moment, the next opportunity, the next gift of life.   Your physical body is, in fact, doing  that all the time.  Your cells are constantly dying and being created anew, so that within a year every cell in your body has been replaced.  From a cellular perspective, you have an entirely new body every year.  Isn’t that amazing?

When we are fully engaged in “being,” we are in a constant flow of change.  Therefore, we are constantly experiencing new beginnings.  This does not mean that each day we have to start life all over again, having lost what was before.  Instead, it means that every day we get to reflect back on what has been, choose how we wish to relate to it and the role it will play in our lives going forward, and then start afresh.  Through this approach to life, we can constantly let go of old opinions, beliefs, habits and behaviors that no longer serve us and replace them with new beliefs and behaviors that are in harmony with our evolutionary process.

Take a couple of moments to reflect on how you approach each new day now.  Do you wake up excited about discovering the possibilities that the new day holds, or do you approach the day as a series of pre-set commitments to be met and responsibilities to fulfill?  Be honest with yourself.

Now close your eyes and take a moment to settle into a meditative state.  Then invite the concept of “Beginning” to be present with you.  Let go of any pre-conceived notion of what Beginning should mean.  Ask Beginning what it has to say to you and what role it wants to play in your life.  Ask what new opportunities await you if you allow each moment to be new.  Then step into and fully inhabit the potential that Beginning is showing you.

What does it feel like to inhabit Beginning in this way?  How has your energy shifted? How is your attitude different?   Can you feel your “new skin?”  What is it like?

Living in this new concept of Beginning can lead to new choices and habits in your daily life.  How do you feel called to live your new concept of Beginning right now?  How can this new Beginning awareness influence your thoughts about who you are, how you interact and communicate with the world, and the life you are creating?

If you lived in this new Beginning awareness, how might your life transform?   How many ways can you imagine that your life could be different if you lived in this concept of Beginning?  Choose it, even if only for a day, and see how your daily experience shifts as well as your overall approach to life…

Click Here to Continue Reading “New Beginnings”

Copyright Alan Seale. All Rights Reserved.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments about Alan’s article! Please scroll down and leave your comments below.

And, if you haven’t already done so, be sure to pick up your special package of inspirational goodness exclusively for our Daily Soul Retreat Newsletter Subscribers — a “Soul Retreat Gift Pack” filled with over $300 worth of Ecourses, Ebooks, Audio Workshops and Meditations, donated by our awesome SoulfulLiving.com authors. If you aren’t already subscribed, click here for all the details. If you are already subscribed, watch your Daily Soul Retreats for all the details.

Wishing you a beautiful new day!

Soulfully,
Valerie

Share the Inspiration with Your Friends…

“Happiness, not in another place,
but this place…not for another hour,
but for this hour.”
—Walt Whitman

Good morning and happy Wednesday! I love, love, LOVE today’s article by Molly Stranahan. Molly is a speaker, storyteller and happiness facilitator. Perfect for the new year, her article offers us “25 Resolutions for Happiness.” I think you will find every single one of her 25 wonderful resolutions joy-filled and inspiring.

Enjoy ♥

“25 Resolutions for Happiness”

by Molly Stranahan

At some stress-filled moment, have you had the experience of realizing you had forgotten what you learned in the past, the self-knowledge that healed and brought joy or just got you through a tough time? The anniversary theme of Life Lessons created an excuse to write down the lessons I have learned, but sometimes forget to use. I’m pledging to renew my commitment to living them, and offer them in the hopes they might help you, or they might inspire you to remember your greatest life lessons.

Even though I’m a psychologist, I’ve learned more of life’s lessons through personal experience than through my formal education. Many of my lessons have come from hearing (or reading) the transformational moments of others — their own life lessons — which they were generous enough to share. And the most important lessons I’ve learned are those that have led me out of pain and into happiness.

And so, dear reader, may you find some message below which leads you to a new belief or understanding, releases you from some burden, or takes you to an even higher level of happiness. In keeping with this hopeful season, I’ve put the life lessons I’ve learned…so far…in the form of these New Year’s resolutions to remind myself daily that I know how to be happy, despite the challenges life puts in my path. I will be even happier if some of them increase your happiness.

I will make happiness a worthy goal, for achieving it is entirely within my power. Our nation’s founding fathers declared the pursuit of happiness to be an important and inalienable right. I choose to use it as a primary measure of my success in life. I believe I will die peacefully if I can say I have lived a happy life and helped others to do the same. Achieving both goals is well within my grasp because, as Abraham Lincoln noted, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” So all I have to do is help people change their minds. It isn’t what happens to us that determines how happy we are, it’s what and how we think about what happens to us. Some people call it attitude. Whatever name you give it, it’s the key to happiness.

I will use my feelings to tell me when things aren’t working for me. When I‘m angry, sad, upset, afraid, frustrated, or irritated, when any of those “unpleasant” feelings come over me, I will recognize them as signals that something needs to be changed, so I can regain my happy state. I will use them as cues to examine the situation at hand, particularly my thoughts and beliefs about what is happening to me. I will look at how I am interpreting what is happening, what thoughts are leading to my hurt or anxious or angry feelings. Some have described the process as watching themselves experience the feeling, and then looking for the thoughts behind the emotion. I find that doing this lets me be a grownup, empowered to take responsibility for my feelings, rather than a child victimized by them.

I will let go of what I cannot change: other people, the past, the future. This resolution takes the constant reminder to stop being upset over what isn’t in my control. Reinhold Niebuhr’s serenity prayer helps me do that. “Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” I have to remember that I don’t get to decide other people’s feelings or behavior. I can’t make them act the way I want them to act. I can’t make them love me. I can’t make them happy. What I can do is ask them what they’re thinking or how they’re feeling. I can ask them for what I’d like them to give me. I can control my response to their behavior, creating a reward or punishment for their choice. I can warn them what consequence I will provide for each of their choices.

When I find myself regretting something from the past, I will ask myself if it will help to talk to someone, to get a new perspective on the situation or to share mine, or decide whether I need to apologize for what I did to cause my regret. I will let go of my worries of the future by thinking about what I can do to prepare for the situation that is making me anxious. Then I will let go of pointless worrying about what I can’t control. I can choose to stop investing my physical and emotional energy in the things I cannot change.

I will focus on what I can change–my thoughts, beliefs, expectations, and behavior, which will change how I feel. When I examine, for example, why I’m upset over other people’s behavior in traffic, it’s often because I’m afraid I’m going to be late for an appointment, which usually happens because I didn’t leave enough time for lost or leisurely motorists and red lights. Rather than yell my frustration (with the windows rolled up, of course) at the “slow” driver in front of me, I can take responsibility for having brought my tardiness on myself and accept the fact that I will be late rather than shift the blame by focusing on other people and circumstances. I will then use my time constructively by phoning the person who’s expecting me or thinking about how to apologize when I finally arrive, while resolving to allow myself more transit-time in the future. Caught in similar frustrating, unavoidable circumstances, rather than fume at other people’s “selfishness” and inconsiderate behavior, I can remind myself I have no control over what others choose to think or do. Instead, I can refuse to turn into a whining child because of situations and events beyond my power to alter or fix. By keeping my attention on the things I can control — my thoughts, beliefs, expectations, feelings and behavior — I will remain an empowered, responsible adult. And I will have transformed my anger into calm.

I will appreciate the moment. I will notice the good things that are happening to me right now, whether it’s a beautiful sky, a happy child, an efficient grocery store clerk, or hitting all the green lights for a change. I don’t know how many years or days I’ll live, so I want to live this moment fully.  I will ask myself often, “If this turns out to be the last day of my life, have I enjoyed it to the fullest extent possible?” It’s easy to lapse into worrying about the future, or dreaming of better things to come, or stewing in our regrets over the past while we miss the golden sunlight streaming in our window, or don’t hear the lovely song playing on the radio. I will try not to miss this moment because I’m so focused on what I should be doing next. Even when I am working toward a future goal, I will try to enjoy the process of getting there. I will ask myself constantly, “What can I do to wring the most joy from this moment, from this experience?” I will remind myself that taking out the garbage in the rain is a chance to smell the wet earth, to feel nature’s fresh raindrops on my skin, maybe even to stomp in a puddle. I will seize every opportunity to laugh and have fun and learn from every task, no matter how routine or boring. Housework becomes fun when I blast Motown and dance while drying the dishes or sing along with the Supremes while making the bed, so this is what I will do to make my life joyful.

I will focus on what I have so that I experience abundance, remembering that unhappy people focus on what they want, and they feel deprived. I accept that I won’t get everything I want. I will remind myself that if I base my happiness on getting what I want instead of enjoying what I have, lasting happiness will be unattainable as my wants will constantly expand to exceed my ability to attain them. I will try not to turn my wants into needs. I will embrace this healthy attitude: I will go after what I want, but I will detach my happiness from the outcome. In other words, not getting my way, even if I worked really hard for it, doesn’t have to make me unhappy.

Happy people choose to see the best in people and the world. Unhappy people choose to see the worst. People argue over which view of the world is “true” but very little is truly knowable. We tend to see only the “evidence” that confirms our beliefs, thereby convincing ourselves those beliefs are “facts.” I will challenge that tendency by being open to everyone’s convictions and viewpoints, and then choose the belief that makes me feel happiest.

I will be grateful. Taking stock of all the good things in my life and being grateful for them will keep me in the moment and make me happier. I will remind myself of all of the people who have less than I have, whether it be health, resources, family or friends. I know that if I choose to believe there is a gift in everything that happens to me, I will always find one.

I will believe that all people are equally valuable and worthy by virtue of being human, and that makes me valuable and worthy. I will accept that I don’t have to be perfect, I don’t have to meet anyone else’s expectations or needs to be a worthy and loveable person. And they don’t have to meet mine…

Click Here to Continue Reading “25 Resolutions for Happiness”

Copyright Molly Stranahan. All Rights Reserved.

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Wishing you a joy-filled day!

Soulfully,
Valerie

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