Ask yourself…did you ever receive any meaningful training or preparation for enjoyable, effective dating or for what it takes to create a healthy, truly loving and vital marriage? The fact is, most people have to say a big “No”!
So what happens? Dating feels like a phony trial by fire. And marriage…well… take a look at the divorce rate. That’s clear and painful evidence of what to expect when people don’t know how to be with one another in a way that enriches them as individuals and as a couple, that helps them grow emotionally, spiritually, and brings them closer and closer as they grow together over time.
There are several key elements that are essential, necessary, and non-negotiable:
*** You have to be available to give love.
*** You must be available to receive love.
*** You have to be willing to own and work to release old emotional wounds so you can more fully live in the actual unfolding mystery of your relationship.
*** You need to feel confident that you are increasingly learning how to address whatever needs attention so your relationship and your life together can continually flourish.
To help you with this, we’re providing three key daily readings (they can be used as meditations or affirmations) from our daily email program “Opening To Love 365 Days A Year.”
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Bringing More Love Into Your Life
As you continue reading, begin asking yourself how open you are to receiving love, how generous you are in giving it, showing it, living it.
We’ll bet you’ve struggled to define what love in real life is for you—what we call real life love—and what you’re truly wanting in your everyday relationship—whether you are in one now—or you are looking and looking forward to a loving relationship in the future.
Please take in the following 3 messages, and trust that your soul will be calling you forward to expand and enhance how you live your love—now or in the future!
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A NEW BEGINNING
Today’s Love Opening:
“I Welcome New Opportunities For Love”
Any time of the year is always a good time to set new goals, change your ways, and make a deeper commitment to love. Whether you’re in a relationship or single and looking, you no doubt want to be loved for all that you are and love someone in just the same way.
How can you do it better? How can you open yourself beyond what you already know?
First and foremost, remember that THE OTHER PERSON IS NOT YOU. While that may sound overly simplistic, most relationships fall apart over fights resulting from ignorance about this pivotal and vital truth. When you unconsciously imagine that your lover is just like you, or should be just like you, then any disagreement is shocking. The other person has to be changed. Every fight has to be won.
But when you can remember that your partner’s feelings, beliefs, and behaviors are just as important and valid to him or her as yours are to you, then you start with the sincere possibility of building a passionate, always changing, deeply successful love between equals.
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A new year is a clean slate, a chance to suck in your breath,
decide all is not lost and give yourself another chance.
– Sarah Overstreet
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REAL ROMANCE
Today’s Love Opening
“I Enjoy The Real Romance In Our Everyday Life.”
When you think of romance you may imagine breakfast in Paris, or underwater escapades in Hawaii. But what about every day? What about all the moments you connect in a special way—from tender understanding to funny insider jokes, even your running debate about the correct way to eat an artichoke or peel an avocado—anything that is special to the two of you? What if that is real romance?
Real romance waits for you every day WHEN YOU STAY OPEN TO ALL THE WAYS YOU TOUCH ONE ANOTHER, even when you’re apart. Remember when he sent a card, just because, when you were visiting your friend who had moved to another city? And then there was the time she snuck a little note in your bag before you flew off to a business meeting. Oh yes, then there are all the times when she’s in the market and calls to see if you want anything. And remember when he texts you from the gym to see if you want to go to the movies, or play tennis, or go bowling, or go get ice cream when he gets home. It’s so easy to take those kinds of real romance for granted. But when you do, you’re missing out. Yes! You’re missing out on opening to more love in your life!
Don’t wait for big-deal romance. It’s wonderful, to be sure. But every day, real romance is there to give and receive as soon as you open your heart to experience it.
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She calls a turnip a “sweet” and I keep saying it’s just a turnip. Can you believe we have discussions about vegetables?
– Liam Neeson
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SELF-EXPRESSION
Today’s Love Opening
“I Will Tell My Partner Who I Am”
When you were growing up, maybe you felt like most people didn’t want to hear from you. You felt your needs, your desires, your creativity, your exuberance were irritating, even annoying to those around you.
Consequently, maybe you’re currently in a relationship in which you feel cautious about making jokes, initiating sex, re-arranging the garage, or more important—bringing up your partner’s upsetting behaviors.
The fact is, no one can read your mind. Love requires that both people speak up, express themselves, give their input, and negotiate how they want to continue to be together, and then live together. YOUR PARTNER CANNOT DEAL WITH WHAT YOU DON’T REVEAL
When you’re dating, you’re laying down the blueprint for how the relationship will be in the future. We say, Date The Way You Want To Mate. So don’t paint yourself into the background. If you’ve already done that, grab the vocal and physical equivalents of bright red, green, and blue paint and start re-doing the place called your relationship. Express yourself. More. Now. Today.
You can always open yourself to more of what love offers, commit to receiving more of what daily infusions of love can bring.
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If you asked me what I came into this world to do, I will tell you:
I came to live out loud.
– Emile Zola
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We are committed to helping you gain a deeper understanding of what real romance and love in real life can offer! It is truly living soulfully that is possible, every day, and in so many ways when you open yourself to the fullness and depth that real life love can provide.
Take a moment now, with the new year already here, and ask yourself:
”What do I most want to know about love, real life love? And what kinds of real every day romance do I want to experience in my everyday life?”
Your answers will help guide you to more heart opening, more discovery, more of what you really want!
And to enjoy more of these love and relationship messages, one a day in your email for 365 days, please be sure to get signed up to receive them. (Please see our bio for more information.)
Copyright 2020 Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski. All Rights Reserved.
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Best selling authors of 8 books, married psychology team Judith & Jim, (Judith Sherven, PhD and Jim Sniechowski, PhD) have more than 70 years combined experience helping people break through their personal barriers to liberation and success in various areas of life including professional success as well as love and real romance. Today they are an executive coaching team for tech company leaders around the world as well as the hosts of their popular podcast series “Overcoming The Fear Of Being Fabulous” which went straight into Apple/iTunes top 50 most listened to podcasts the very first week it went live!
Learn about their podcast and sign up for their Free 3-Minute Video “You Are A Miracle” at https://OvercomingTheFearOfBeingFabulous.com
