Most people long for a life that feels authentic, meaningful, loving, and spiritually connected — what we call a soulful life. A soulful life is a life lived from your essence rather than your ego, from love rather than fear, from truth rather than false beliefs, and from your connection with spirit.
In my work on Inner Bonding, there is a clear and powerfully practical path toward this kind of life. Each of the 6 Steps helps you move out of the ego wounded self — the protective part of you that lives in fear, shame, and control — and into your loving adult, who is aligned with your soul and guided by spirit.
When practiced consistently, the six steps to living a soulful life create a shift from self-abandonment to self-love — and that shift opens the doorway to living fully, joyfully, and soulfully.
Here’s how each step supports you in living a soulful life.
1. Step One: Tune in to Your Feelings — Your Soul’s Inner Compass
A soulful life begins with awareness. You cannot live from your soul if you are disconnected from your feelings, because your feelings are your soul’s language.
When you feel anxious, angry, empty, or ashamed, these feelings are signals that you are rejecting and abandoning yourself in some way. When you feel peace, openness, warmth, or joy, these are signals that you are aligned with the love of your soul essence.
Many people numb, avoid, or judge their feelings, which cuts them off from their inner compass. Step One invites you to breathe, go inside, and ask, “What am I feeling?” This simple act of tuning in is an act of honoring your soul.
You cannot live a soulful life without listening to your feelings. They are the gateway to your truth.
2. Step Two: Choose the Intention to Learn — The Shift from Fear to Love
Living a soulful life requires choosing, moment-to-moment, to act from love rather than fear. And this shift begins with Step Two: consciously choosing the intention to learn about loving yourself, rather than the intent to control, avoid, and protect against pain.
When you are in the intention to control — whether you’re trying to control others’ approval, control your pain, control outcomes, or control your image — you are operating from the ego wounded self. You are disconnected from your soul.
But when you choose the intention to learn, you open your heart. You move into curiosity, compassion, and presence. You become available to truth.
3. Step Three: Dialogue with Your Inner Child and Your Wounded Self — Discovering Your False Beliefs
The inner child is your feeling soul self, as well as your aliveness, creativity, and joy. For many people, this precious part has been buried through various forms of self-abandonment, such as neglect, self-judgment, addictions, and making others responsible for your feelings.
Step Three invites you to turn inward and ask your inner child, “What am I telling you and how am I treating you from my wounded self that is causing the painful feelings of anxiety, guilt, shame, emptiness, anger, jealousy, and so on?”
Once you understand how you might be causing these wounded feelings, you go deeper, into your young or adolescent ego wounded self, asking, “What are you trying to control or avoid with this unloving behavior?” This is where you become aware of your false beliefs — beliefs about not being good enough, about being able to control what you can’t control, and about many other life situations.
Living a soulful life means reclaiming the parts of you that were forgotten or pushed aside. Your inner child is the keeper of your soul’s light. When you reconnect with this part of you, you reconnect with your essence.
Loving yourself begins with listening to the one inside who needs your love the most.
4. Step Four: Open to Spirit — Receiving Soul Guidance
A soulful life is a life lived in connection with something greater than your mind — with spirit, Divine love, or the wisdom of your higher self.
Step Four is the moment you turn inward and upward, asking, “What is the truth here about these beliefs? What is loving to my inner child? What is aligned with my highest good?”
When you open to spiritual guidance, you begin receiving the love, clarity, and truth that your mind alone cannot produce. You learn to distinguish between fear and intuition, between false beliefs and truth, between control and genuine safety. This guidance becomes the compass for living a soulful life.
5. Step Five: Take Loving Action — Embodying Your Soul’s Wisdom
A soulful life is not just felt — it is lived. And Step Five invites you to take action that supports your well-being, honors your feelings, and nurtures your inner child.
A loving action might be:
• Speaking your truth
• Setting a boundary
• Getting rest
• Eating nourishing food
• Ending a toxic pattern
• Pursuing creativity
• Reaching out for connection
• Allowing joy
Loving action is the moment your spiritual guidance becomes embodied. It is how you show your inner child that you can be trusted. It is how you demonstrate your commitment to living from your soul instead of your fear.
Every time you take a loving action, you strengthen your loving adult. You strengthen self-trust. And you strengthen your connection with your soul.
This is how soulful living becomes a way of life — through consistent, loving action.
6. Step Six: Evaluate — Deepening Your Connection with Your Soul
After you take a loving action, Step Six asks you to evaluate how you feel.
Do you feel more peaceful? More open? More grounded? More connected?
When the action comes from the soul — from truth, compassion, and guidance — you will feel relief and a quiet sense of rightness. This is how you learn to recognize what truly supports your well-being.
Evaluation deepens your spiritual discernment. You begin to understand the difference between actions rooted in fear and actions rooted in love. You refine your ability to align your choices with your deepest self.
Over time, this step trains you to trust your soul’s wisdom more than your wounded beliefs. This is the heart of soulful living: trusting the love and truth within you.
A soulful life is not something you achieve once. It is a daily, moment-to-moment practice of choosing love over fear, truth over control, presence over avoidance, and compassion over judgment.
A soulful life is not outside you. It is within you, waiting for your willingness to embrace it.
© Copyright 2025 Margaret Paul. All Rights Reserved.
Dr. Margaret Paul is a bestselling author of 15 published books, a relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® self-healing process. She has appeared on numerous radio and television shows, including Oprah, and has successfully worked with hundreds of thousands and taught classes and seminars around the world for over 56 years. Her most recent book is Lonely No More: The Astonishing Power of Inner Bonding. Learn more at her website: https://www.innerbonding.com. Margaret is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council.
