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Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway, The Romance Reverend

Soulful Love
March 2002

by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Every month, our Soulful Singles "Romance Reverend" shares her sage insights on relationships and getting ready for soulful love!  Send your questions to RomanceRev@SoulfulLiving.com.

The Romance Reverend’s Picks For Healing Help for Dark Days

When Life Has You Down, Remember You Are Loved

Dear Romance Reverend,

You often tell us that the only way to have a relationship with someone else is to have a relationship with ourselves first. What if you just can’t find happiness in yourself or your life? What if life has got your so down that you can’t even remember what it is like to be happy, or what it is like to be loved? I realize I am depressed, but I am depressed because I am so disappointed with love and the way life has turned out. I can’t imagine that in this state I could be ready for a boyfriend, let alone, attract anyone to me. How do I get out of this?

-- Tara, Philadelphia, PA

*  *  *  *  *  *

Dear Tara –

You are named after a Goddess (the Tibetan mother Goddess of compassion, power and protection) and I will say a prayer that you find your way back to your sacred self. What you are going through is a common theme these days. I have gotten many e-mails like yours, telling of feelings similar to those you describe. This seems to be a time when many people are finding themselves facing fears, disappointments, heartaches, despair, and depression. Many people have so many issues coming up for evaluation at once that it is overwhelming. At times like this is often best to forget about "finding a boyfriend" and focus on reconnecting with your own soul.

First, you must take care of yourself medically, emotionally, physically. See your doctor, find out if there is a specific medical cause, and look into a medically approved wellness program; evaluate exercise and diet and make improvement in those areas. Studies show that people who are feeling depressed exercise less and often don’t pay attention to the kinds of food they eat. So I suggest you include awareness and perhaps a willingness to improve in those areas as a way of helping yourself heal.

Then, you can take a deeper look into your spiritual life and make some choices about how you want it to be. If you can reclaim your spirit, you will reclaim your connection to God, Goddess, All there is.

Remember that our divine parents are ALWAYS there for us. In the course of life’s disappointment and challenges, in the wake of loss and feeling lost, we tend to forget that we are not alone. I share with you a favorite reading. I often use this in memorial services to remind loved ones that the person who has departed is never really gone. But I believe that this is truly a memo from God and Goddess, telling us we are divine children, connected to the universal source of all that is, if only we are willing to see that!

I Am Always Right Beside You
All my loved ones think I am far away,
but I am always right beside you.
I never leave you. Never!
Not even for a moment.
If you open your hearts,
you will be able to recognize me.
And you will know how much I love you.
-- Unknown

The other thing that is very helpful at all times – and especially when you are having a dark spell – is prayer. Really, really pray -- and petition for healing, help, and relief of your burdens. You just can’t pray enough at a time like this. Talk out loud to the Divine Source of All That Is. Our cosmic Mom and Dad are there to help us. They are big enough to take all our burdens, worries and concerns. Here’s a traditional religious petition for healing that I revised to a non-denominational prayer. Say it every morning and every night for 30 days and watch your life change!

Prayer To The Creator Of All That Is
Lift burdens and allow for a happy, balanced, whole life

Glorious Creator filled with compassion for those who invoke thee, and with love for those who suffer. Heavily laden with the weight of my troubles, I cast myself at thy feet and humbly beg of thee to take the present affair which I recommend to thee under special protection.

Please help me at the highest levels to resolve the pain and heartache. Lay the difficulties of transformation at the feet of your most resplendent healers and helpers, so that they may bring all problems and challenges to a happy resolve. Cease not to intercede for me until my request is granted. Above all, obtain for me the grace of being in the presence of your greatness. I praise you, Great Creator, for all you offer to your children and as one of your children I accept my birthright to love, happiness, health, well-being and financial affluence. Bring divinity to all I am and do, and let me now live in the flow of your great abundance as I serve thy will as a healer and one who brings transformation to many. Restore my faith when it fails me and elevate me to the right path of service, relationship, love and livelihood. Empower me to good health and wellness. Make me whole and bring me the safety and opportunity to love with a whole and healthy heart.

Creator of all that is, Mother and Father of divine spirit and love, please help me heal and prosper and do good works. Make me a great woman/man and bring me the relationship, home, family and community life and spiritual family that I yearn to be with.

I pray to thee, and all aspects of thy divinity, to make me whole and help me help myself, my family, and those on the path. Amen. And so it is.

We live in a time so wrought with confusion and fear that many of us have lost touch with the fact that Love is the source of all that is, and that we are all from that same source. When you are feeling the darker nights of the soul, it is so hard to remember what it is like to love or be loved. Yet it is also our losing touch with that remembrance of love that makes the darkness evermore pervasive. Ultimately, our reconnection to the Divine Source of All That Is leads us back to love. I share this inspiration from Meditations With Teilhard De Chardin (Bear &Co).

Love alone can unite living beings
so as to complete and fulfill them,
for it alone joins them by what is deepest in themselves.
All we need is to imagine our ability to love
developing until it embraces the totality of the people of the earth.
--Teilhard De Chardin

Just take things a day at a time. Wake up tomorrow and say: "On this day, I move forward." If you are not yet there, try it a minute or an hour at a time. It may take time and reflection, but you will begin to work your way out of the darkness you feel. As the Vernal Equinox and Easter approach, the energy on our planet should also become a little lighter, as spring is reborn once again and a sense of renewal is in the air. One day, you will awake and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

© Copyright Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway  All Rights Reserved. 

The Romance Reverend’s Picks For Healing Help for Dark Days

Get yourself a new doll! Just like in childhood, nothing can cheer you like a beautiful doll. There is a modern therapy protocol of giving stuffed animals and bears to people suffering through grief and loss. I saw this constantly while working as a volunteer chaplain for the Red Cross doing disaster relief after 9-11. There were bears donated to New York from the folks in Oklahoma and from around the world, with notes of love and healing prayers. The grieving families we so comforted by this. I saw many adults holding onto bears – not just kids.

For women who are stressed, feeling the strain of life, experiencing heartbreak or suffering loss of any kind, I recommend a new doll. Just as the bears are comforting, a doll can cheer you and stimulate childhood memories of feeling more playful as well as help you tap into the love inside you. Remember how much you loved your dolls as a little girl? Remembering that purity and innocence could help you get back on track in life!

I went to the Toy Fair in New York in February to see if I could find some fun items to write about and came across this beautiful "Topsy Turvy" doll. She is created by The North American Bear Company and called the "Fancy Prancy Princess." On one side she is dark-skinned and dressed in fancy orange and gold, and if you flip over her dress she is blond with a blue dress with sparkly ornaments in it. You can hold and hug her, and she can change with your mood. I think she can even change your mood because she can really lighten the spirit. She costs around $32 and is available in independent specialty and gift stores, or call (800) 682-3427. You are never too old for a new doll!

Read your way to lighter days: I recommend all books by Debbie Ford. Her latest, Secret of the Shadow: The Power of Owning Your Whole Story (Harper San Francisco, December 2001) shows us how we are held back in life by our "stories" -- the collection of beliefs and attitudes that prevents us from having all the love, happiness and success we desire. She offers coaching and inspiration for uncovering the stories that keep us stuck and for breaking out of life-depleting patterns that block us from the transformation we yearn for. For more information: www.secretoftheshadow.com

The Secret of the Shadow by Debbie Ford

© Copyright Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway  All Rights Reserved. 


What is one nice thing you can do for yourself today?


Read Reverend Laurie Sue's Current Column


Read Reverend Laurie Sue's Past Columns:

February 2002 - "Plan a Valentine's Day Team Date"

January 2002 - "Do I Hear Him Knocking … From the Other Side?"

December 2001 - "How Do We Make Our Love Dreams Come True?"

November 2001 - "What is the Future of Love?"

October 2001 - "Getting to Know 'Lakshmi' the Goddess of Good Fortune"

September 2001 - "Can't Hurry Love... It Will Happen in Its Right Moment"

August 2001 - "Family Rituals Help Us Grow Into Loving Beings"

July 2001 - "Dreams Warn It’s Time To Own Your Power"

June 2001 - "A Fun Visual of Your Favorite Romance"

May 2001 - "Someday Your Mystical Soul Mate Will Come"

April 2001 - "Enjoy the Merriment and Fun of An Ancient Love Holiday"

March 2001 - "Nourish Yourself On a Date for One"

February 2001 - "Get Ready for Soulful Love"

Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway is an author, teacher and contemporary clergy person who specializes in matters of the heart and soul. As an ordained interfaith minister and non-denominational wedding officiant, it is her honor to regularly marry couples in love.

Prior to becoming a minister she enjoyed a successful and colorful 20 years in media as a widely published journalist, editor and author of several books on relationships and romance—as well as being a noted spokesperson on those topics. She was editor-in-chief of two national magazines and several regional publications, and her articles have been published around the world and in many newspapers and national magazines, such as the NY Daily News, The Washington Post, Women’s News, New Woman, Ladies’ Home Journal and Child. She evolved years of specialized reporting in the field of male-female relationship dynamics into a more spiritual pursuit that led her to train to be an interfaith minister, and then establish her wedding ministry along with a number of popular relationship enhancement programs. Her wedding ministry is based in New York.

She is also dedicated to bringing about a deeper awareness and understanding of the Divine Feminine. As a graduate of The New Seminary in NYC, the world’s premier seminary for interfaith ministers, she was educated and trained in the tenants, spiritual practice and worship of many faiths. She became a specialist in the feminine aspects of God in all the world’s religions. Today, she is widely recognized as a minister, teacher and scribe specializing in women’s spirituality and The Divine Feminine from an interfaith and all-inclusive perspective. She is on the board of directors of World Light Fellowship, heading up their Feminine Faces of God programs, and is Founder of Our Mother’s House, a cyber ministry at www.OurMothersHouse.org.

Long devoted to helping women access the "Goddess Within," she is currently working on two books that bring the wisdom of ancient archetypes to modern women. Her newest book, A Goddess Is a Girl's Best Friend, is due out from Perigee Books in December 2002.

To be placed on a mailing list for information about A Goddess Is A Girl’s Best Friend: OurMothersHouse@aol.com


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