Our Romance Reverend
gives readers tips on how to get ready for true love on
a deep and soulful level. Read on if you are ready to
take the next steps on your personal road to romance.
13 Steps For Making Your Romantic Dreams
ready Ö you can meet that special someone at
the most unexpected times and places."
--Dr. Judy Kuriansky, The Complete Idiotís Guide
Welcome in the New Year by committing to your own
private Project Soul Mate. Itís the New Year's
Resolution that can help you to open your heart, your arms
and your life to love in 2004.
Forget about searching for the one who might be The
One. First, clean up stuff you no longer need, get your
life in order, and simultaneously, get ready for love.
Here are just a few of my pearls of wisdom on the topic,
culled from more than 25 years of work on the front line
of the Relationship Revolution and many more than that out
and about on Loveís Battlefield.
1. Take responsibility and do your part
In soul mate relationships, people find an end to the
sense of separation because it truly is like being
reunited with self. Your soul mate will help heal you but
canít be responsible for fixing you. Even if he or she
wants to, donít let Ďem! Even soul mate couples with
great relationships have issues to heal -Ė individually
and with one anotherís help -- but it is so
important that the process of releasing old beliefs,
healing broken hearts and letting go of baggage from
relationships past is well underway before we tango with
new love. If healing has not begun and progressed --
through therapy, grief work, spiritual practice and any
other form of transformational work Ė we risk being
needy and over anxious, and jumping into the wrong
2. Acknowledge and slay personal dragons
In the mythology, fairytales and Hollywood movies that
shape our consciousness about soulful love, epic lovers
have a series of challenges to meet and master, and a few
dragons to slay, before they can claim the precious prize
of everlasting love. The same holds true for modern soul
mates. While some people seem lucky in love -- as if they
were born in a state of readiness for true intimacy and
partnership Ė the rest of us typically have some life to
live and some lessons to muddle through first. Some of us
have baggage we need to drop off at the Heart Break Hotel
before we can truly unite with another at the highest
level of loving communion. Work hard to clean house. Toss
out old stuff, memorabilia that depletes your energy and
keeps you stuck in the past, and ex-loves who no longer
have any business being in you life. Liberate yourself
from the past by cleaning out one draw at a time until you
work your way to creating closure with the things youíve
been stalling on. Do it for youÖ and the love will
3. Pay attention to signals and intuition
Our souls continuously urge us forward. We get subtle
intuitive messages, signs and sometime warnings. We are
given directions to follow, inspiration for places to go
and people to see, and guidance on every level. When
spirit begins to do its thing of bringing us together, donít
get caught asleep at the wheel or so absorbed in mundane
living that you canít recognize love when it knocks on
4. Develop the capacity to identify true love
By the time your soul mate stands before you, eyes
searching into your own, heart connected to yours, you
will have both done quite a lot of personal and spiritual
development work. Work on developing the capacity and
maturity to distinguish real love from hope created by
fantasies you project on someone who has
"potential." In order to recognize true love you
have to sense of what love looks like; you must be able to
see through your spiritual eyes! The emotional healing we
take on often gives way to great spiritual openings, and
allows us to discern true love with confidence. Soul
connection is tangible; there really should be no guessing
or wondering when the real thing comes along.
5. How to know when you know
Arielle Ford tells the stories of 101 soul mates in Hot
Chocolate for The Mystical Lover (Plume). She says
there was one telltale sign that confirmed to these soul
mate couples that true love had arrived: "There is
almost always a distinct moment when soul mates recognize
each other. Sometimes itís simple, mutual love at first
sight. And sometimes one or both parties hear a small,
still voice confirm: "sheís the one" or
"this is the one your will spend your life
with." Liberation from things that clutter our lives,
closure with the past and clarity about who we are is what
enables us to hear our own inner guidance so loud and
6. Honor your path, know when to change routes
The journey to soulful love is ongoing, in daily life.
Lived with consciousness, each step will count for
something. Even the difficult aspects of romantic
evolution can be considered "time served" in
preparation for true love. No relationship is bad or
wrong, as long as lessons are being learned and no one is
getting injured. Itís important to discern when one
particular path has run its course. Many of us get our
best training in relationship boot camp. We may beat our
selves up for bad dates and time that seems wasted on Mr.
or Ms Wrong, but in truth, they are an important,
instructive part of the journey. The grand awakening to
what soul mate love is comes by discovering first hand
what it is not. Refusing to see the truth about nowhere
relationships keep us stuck; insisting on continuing on a
dead end path limits possibilities. It is difficult to let
go of a relationship that offers companionship, sex, fun.
But when you want a true soul mate, holding on to a
relationship that is imitating love keeps us from
the very thing we say we desire. Eventually, we figure it
out. Many people take a break from searching or even swear
off relationships for a while. Its at those times that
many people report meeting the loves of their lives Ė
when they least suspect it and when the arenít
7. Acknowledge the mythology of that guides you
The concept of soul mates is as old as time. In Edgar
Cayce on Soul Mates: Unlocking The Dynamics of Soul
Attraction (ARE Press), author Kevin J, Todeschi talks
about the many images and stories of lovers who were
destin for one another that are ingrained in us from
history, folklore and religion. Isis and Osiris. Krishna
and Radha. Cupid and Psyche. He eloquently points out how
in fairy tales, it was the kiss of one certain prince who
could awaken the Sleeping Beauty; and only one Beauty
could tame and the Beast an return him to a state of
grace. You donít have to go for the big, epic love
story. Itís not everyoneís destiny to have a love so
great and earth shattering that it ends up recorded in
human history. We may long for that level of profundity
and yet how many of really want something that huge and
all consuming? It is important to recognize the myth that
has helped shape your love life and cull the best aspects
of archetypes that inspire you. Re-evaluate and rewrite
it: Take the best parts and favorite aspects and make them
your own. Many humans are daunted by the concept of always
having to live and love like a God or Goddess, and yet we
are happy to know that we can tap into that energy as we
8. Consciously create your own soul mate reality
Hollywood movies provide plenty of fodder to inspire
hope in sacred love Ė as well as filling our psyches
with images of "perfect love" that is
unattainable to most of us and impossible to maintain
every moment of the day for the rest of us. Hollywood
gives us the added advantage of being able to create our
own reality, stories, drama and personal legends. Itís
important to live the legend that is personally
empowering. Somewhere out there is likely a guy or gal who
is working on the same material and beliefs. You will have
similar vibrations and mindsets, and you will recognize
each other from the get go -- as long as your lives are
not cluttered with insurmountable physical, logistical,
legal, emotional, spiritual refuge from the past.
9. Donít hate being single
Itís important to embrace being single and honor the
state of not yet having a mate. It's
important to use time as a single person to prepare for
being in a relationship. Some people hate being single but
the truth is, the time of longing and yearning for love is
the time to prepare for real love by assessing your life,
creating the life you want to be leading -- even if there
is on one to share it with yet -- and reflecting on past
mistakes that you do not want to recreate.
10. Let your imagination lead you closer to the
love you desire
There are many practical and spiritually creative ways
to encourage your soul and subconscious mind to raise the
vibrational forces on Project Soul Mate. Begin to imagine
the love you wantÖ or psychically tune into that love.
Write, visualize, daydream, pray, and love your way to a
great relationship. Cut out magazine pictures of couples
in love, makes lists and write stories about the
relationship you choose, use any creative tools you are
comfortable with to ask for all the divine help you can
get! Get together with a friend who is getting ready for
love and partner up on the process.
11. Find the right pace for love
Some of us imagine that when we finally find "the
one", thatís when we will finally start living. To
the contrary, our job is to live fullyÖ that is how your
soul mate will know you. If you are traveling a fast lane
of life with little time for nurturing the heart or
spirit, or if you hide out in a way that causes life to
move too slowly, the window of opportunity could be
delayed or missed. Everyoneís path to soul love is
unique. The cosmic timing for our personal love stories
varies. Awareness, followed by appropriate action, can
emotionally, physically and spiritually prepare you for
love when Cupidís coveted arrow comes your way. Help
spirit do the work of bringing you and your soul mate
12. Know that when you find one another, it will truly
be a reunion
Jewish mysticism offers one of my favorite descriptions
of soul lovers. This is from The Zohar, the key doctrine
of Cabalistic wisdom: "Each soul and spirit, prior to
entering this world, consists of a male and female united
into one being. When it descends on earth two parts
separate and animate two different bodies. At the time of
marriage, the holy One, blessed be He/She, who knows all
souls and spirits, unites them again as they were before,
and they again constitute one body and one soul, forming
as it were the right and left of one individual."
13. Trust that your day will come
Soul mates are psychically and spiritually connected,
and they move one another along, even if they havenít
yet met or recognized one another. Even in the silences
and the spaces, trust that there is another who shares
your dreams and longs to meet you. Nurturing and building
a life with someone takes work, yet soul mates that
prepare for love have more time to love one another when
they finally meet!
© Copyright 2004 Rev. Laurie Sue
Brockway. All Rights Reserved.
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS:
IF YOU COULD ASK YOUR FAIRY GODMOTHER FOR
THREE WISHES, WHAT WOULD THEY BE?
Romance Reverendís Tools for the Heart and Soul
Here are the Romance Rev's
favorite picks for books, tapes and goodies to uplift the
spirit and enhance your relationship to yourself and
others for January 2004.
Hard Questions for an Authentic Life: 100 Essential
Questions for Designing Your Life from the Inside Out,
by Susan Piver (Gotham Books, Janaury 2004): Being a
fan of creating lists, putting things down on paper and
clarifying via the written word, I am a fan of Susan Piverís
books. She wrote her first, The Hard Questions: 100
Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I
Do," while she was trying to figure out her own
motivations and fears about marriage as well clearly
assess compatibility with the man she married Ė before
she married him. In The Hard Questions For An Authentic
Life she offers a format for gaining insight into your
deepest self, and your most authentic desires and beliefs.
In the process you connect with your own inner wisdom and
can make choices about the life you choose to lead.
Questions run the gamut of areas of importance -- family,
friendships, intimate relationships, work, money,
creativity and spiritual life. As the author puts it,
"Asking questions can be a sacred act Ö Asking a
question is a simple, profound way of initiating a
relationship with the energies and powers around and
within you." Click
here to buy it at Amazon.com.
of a True Romantic: The Secrets of a Sizzling Relationship
from Americaís Romance Coach, by Gregory J.P. Godek,
(Sourcebooks, 2003): I remember when I first met Greg
Godek at the Romantic Book Lovers Conference, in the early
1990ís. My old friend Kathryn Falk, publisher of Romantic
Times, introduced us. He had just come out with his
classic 1001 Ways To Be Romantic, and
he was fast becoming a very important voice in the
cluttered relationship book market, because he was the
only guy offering the guy-side view on how to excel at
relationships. He seemed to be on a mission to teach men
how to figure out how to romance a woman properly Ö and
help women receive these efforts with an open heart and
mind. Women loved him because he was whipping their men
into shape! Years later he has over a dozen books to his
credit. Now he speaks to couples, and tries to guide them
through the game of love Ė together. His latest, Confessions
of A True Romantic, has oodles of insights for helping
your relationships along. His "Relationship Report
Card" helps you assess whether your romance is making
the grade and chapter after chapter offers tips on
everything from communication and "heart to
heart," to being playful. His insights are very
practical and well-organized, and worth a read even for
those who are not yet in relationships but are getting
ready for love! Click
here to buy it at Amazon.com.
Art of the Pendulum, by Maxi Cohen (Andrews McMeel
This is one of the most fun and helpful little new age
tools to come along in a while. It comes with a very cool
pendulum and is packaged in an attractive gift box with 12
beautiful cards with inspiring images. The cards represent
different aspects of our lives, such as time, abundance,
guidance and relationships. Included is a booklet that
teaches you how to use the pendulum to solve most any
issue. Basically, you hold it with a still hand over one
of the lovely cards representing an issue you need to
resolve and it helps you decide yes or no on a particular
issue. You may be amazed at how the pendulum swings! Click
here to buy it at Amazon.com.
© Copyright 2004 Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway All Rights
Reverend Laurie Sue's Past Columns:
2003 - Bring Light and Healing to Your Family
for the Holidays
2003 - "Even In Midlife,
We Can All Use A Fairy Godmother"
2003 - "The Secret to Serenity"
2003 - "A
Gathering of Goddesses: Our Girlfriends Keep Us Real"
2003 - "Love Has Its Own Schedule"
2003 - "A Spring Time Reawakening To Soulful Love
and Self Love"
2003 - "Marry Yourself First..."
2002 - "Who is the Goddess?" & "The
2002 - "How to Clear Your Love Clutter"
2002 - "How to Mourn a Broken Heart and Lost
2002 - "Relationships That Nurture and Inspire
Growth of the Soul
2002 - "Finding Peace in a Turbulent World"
2002 - "Sacred Sexuality For Modern Men and
2002 - "When Someone You Love Pushes Your Buttons"
2002 - "When Life Has You Down, Remember You Are
2002 - "Plan a Valentine's Day Team Date"
2002 - "Do I Hear Him Knocking Ö From the Other
2001 - "How Do We Make Our Love Dreams Come True?"
2001 - "What is the Future of Love?"
2001 - "Getting to Know
the Goddess of Good Fortune"
2001 - "Can't Hurry Love... It Will Happen in Its Right Moment"
2001 - "Family Rituals Help Us Grow Into Loving Beings"
2001 - "Dreams Warn Itís Time To Own Your Power"
2001 - "A Fun Visual of Your Favorite Romance"
May 2001 - "Someday
Your Mystical Soul Mate Will Come"
2001 - "Enjoy the Merriment and Fun of An Ancient Love
2001 - "Nourish Yourself On a Date for One"
2001 - "Get Ready for Soulful Love"
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is
an interfaith minister who is often called upon to
teach, speak and write about womenís spirituality and
The Feminine Faces of God. She is author of, A GODDESS
IS A GIRLíS BEST FRIEND: A DIVINE GUIDE TO FINDING
LOVE, SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS, from Perigee Books,
For more information:
or to join "The Goddess
List" for inspirational and informational
electronic message, Email: GoddessLaxmi@aol.com
TO SOULFUL THOUGHTS