Our Romance Reverend
gives readers tips on how to get ready for true love on
a deep and soulful level. Read on if you are ready to
take the next steps on your personal road to romance.
Goddess Night at The Muse
Marry Yourself First...
"To fall in love with
yourself is the first secret to happiness."
There is nothing in the world that beats the feeling
of falling in love and being in love! Many of us
fantasize of meeting our perfect match and being swept
off our feet … yet more and more of us think of
relationships as a life partnership that gives us
sustenance and allow us to share our selves and our love
in a deep and soulful way. We long for a strong and
happy unions and marriages, and home life that offers
security and is sturdy enough to be the foundation for
all else we do in the world.
With so many people expressing so much desire for
true love, why are so many still searching? Why do many
people fear love may never come? The reasons are many,
and as complex as each individual who desires true love.
Yet in my 25 years of experience as a journalist
specializing in relationships, and then a minister,
wedding officiant and spiritual counselor, there are two
things that crop up time and time again. One is that
many people tend to think magically about love without
doing the practical and emotional work to draw a
relationship to them … and keep it healthy and alive.
And second is that many of us skip important steps to
creating the relationship of their dreams by forgetting
the cardinal rule of love relationships -- in order
to experience genuine, mature love with another we first
must love ourselves.
I have said it before and I will stress it again:
Your first stop on the road to romance is with You!
Looking for love externally, and even finding someone
who seems to adore you, can be a fleeting thing if you
do not have a strong foundation of self-esteem and if
you do not continually empower your own sense of
self-worth. It is the esteem of one’s self and
honoring of oneself that opens the door to another to do
the same. I believe this is a spiritual law that guides
the world of love relationships.
I’ve witnessed regularly what is possible for
women, and men, when they do the work on themselves that
allows them to connect with another human being on a
deep and soulful level. I see it in women who have
worked on tapping into The Goddess Within and who have
begun to see themselves as divine and hence are treated
that way. I have seen it in men who, once unsure of
themselves and shy, realize that they are worthy of the
love of a wonderful woman. I see it all the time in the
couples that step up to the altar on their wedding day
and truly connect to one another’s souls with the
deepest kind of love and communion as they speak their
wedding vows to one another.
How do they do it? There is no magic pill. It is a
combination of taking the steps to changes one’s self
image and negative beliefs about love and commitment,
and the sheer power of the universe, which will always
work with you when you are working on yourself!
Sometimes, it helps to fake it until your make it. I don’t
mean that you should be inauthentic, I just mean it
cannot hurt to "act out" the new way of being
you would like to create … and do what kids do when
they are trying to learn how to master things in the
world. They pretend and play act. Play acting self
esteem and love is not a goofy thing, it can actually be
an empowering way to retrain your subconscious mind to agree
that, "YES, I AM worthy of love, happiness and a
great relationship with self, as well as others."
A Self Love Ceremony
There are many steps to the practical and emotional
work that any one of us may be called to do in a
lifetime and I advocate that you take all the steps you
must to make yourself the best you can be, and to
prepare for love in a sensible and soulful way (For
more on that, check out Create
Your Romantic Resume: A 30-Day Program to Transform Your
Romantic Destiny, from Self Healing Expressions.)
In addition to the more mundane and sometimes
emotionally demanding tasks of getting ready for love,
ritual helps to give us a head start on any life
project. That’s why marriage ceremonies are so
important. They create the sacred container for our
goals and dreams; they give power to our aspirations for
a loving lifetime relationship. They set the stage for
how a couple in love will handle the challenges of
relationships as they navigate the waters of life
together. If you want to make a powerful statement about
your readiness for love … marry yourself first.
Although it is not a legally binding ceremony, there
is no rule that says you cannot evoke the energy of
love, commitment and devotion in a wedding ceremony for
one. Be a Goddess for A Day, or a God, and ceremoniously
commit yourself heart and soul to yourself. Your
willingness to take such a strong stand for love in your
life will create miracles in all area of your life, for
a self-marriage ceremony like any other big ceremony, is
an initiation to a new way of being.
Love The One You’re With
When I teach relationship readiness seminars, I have
people look into a mirror into their own eyes and recite
vows to them selves. This is after they have gone
through a process of treating themselves like divine
beings, and have relaxed into a blissful feeling of
appreciation of self. The following is an abbreviated
version, just to get you started.
(There’s a very powerful exercise and ceremony in
the chapter "Be The Ultimate Self Love Goddess With
Venus" in A
Goddess Is A Girl’s Best Friend: A Divine Guide To
Finding Love, Success and Happiness, Perigee
Books, December 2002, which I suggest you
check out as well).
Preparation: For this ceremony, you will need: Ample
time alone, something wonderful to wear, candle,
flowers, paper or journal and pen, a mirror, music and
"first dance song", celebratory food and
libation (a glass of wine or grape juice is fine),
anything else you would like to include.
Clean house and make sure things are neat and
comfortable before hand.
Prepare a "reception", comprised of a
libation and favorite meal or whatever would be pleasing
(alcohol not required). You can prepare it prior to the
ceremony or plan on celebrating by ordering in. Have
everything you need ready and handy (even it its only a
menu to your favorite take out place). It is recommended
that you stay home and bask in the energy of your
experience rather that going out dancing or out to eat.
Shower or bathe, and dress up. You can buy yourself
something beautiful, new and fitting for a bride or
groom for the occasion, or just wear something that
makes you feel good.
Play music that inspires you and opens your heart as
you prepare the wedding altar – in your living room or
on a small table in your bedroom.
Include a candle and flowers on the altar if
Be prepared to write – in a journal or on plain
Have a full sized mirror or hand held mirror handy.
Make sure you have undisturbed time alone and begin.
Your Wedding Ceremony For One
- Light a candle and bring light into the room.
- Say a brief prayer if it feels comfortable: Divine
Spirit of All There Is, please fill this place with your
sacred presence. Support me in my efforts to express my
love fore self. Help me see my own divinity. Amen.
- Sit down and meditate on the qualities you desire in
a mate. Daydream about your wedding day to come and the
vows you would like another to say to you, and that you
would like to pledge to another.
- Write down three (or more) vows that are personally
meaningful to you: "I will promise to love you
through all time… I promise to love myself so that I
can more fully receive your love … I am honored to
have you in my life … I adore you … I love your
strength and wisdom … etc."
- When you feel ready, look into the mirror and
connect with your own eyes and read the vows to
yourself. It may be uncomfortable at firs but you can
transcend that. Know that your self-love vows will send
a powerful message to the universe that you are ready
- Celebrate your union with self with a sip of wine.
- Play the music of that "first dance," the
one you hope to share with your beloved someday. Dance
… and feel the love.
It is not part of our common experience to think of
marrying ourselves first … we are more likely to dream
of a wedding with someone wonderful. Marry yourself
first and you will have married someone wonderful!!!!
© Copyright 2003 Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway All Rights
self-love vows would you like to make to yourself?
Goddess Night at The
Soulful Living Takes You On The
Scene To Our Romance Reverend’s fabulous book party
and celebration of feminine wisdom, beauty and
inspiration in New York
Mingling, noshing, merriment and inspiration were
all on the menu tonight, from 6 to 9 pm, as creative
folks and media friends gathered for Goddess Night at
The Muse to celebrate the publication of Rev. Laurie
Sue’s, A GODDESS IS A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND (Perigee
Books), the popular new book devoted to empowering women
to have more love, success and happiness in their lives.
The celebration drew many members of the press, as well
as real live "goddesses" from many of the
fields represented by the Nine Muses of Greek Mythology
– writers, authors, television and radio
personalities, entertainers, artists, orators and
entrepreneurs. While the crowd was primarily women,
there were quite a few openhearted heroes on hand.
The three-hour event was more than a book party -- it
was an "experience." Produced by Rev. Laurie
Sue and the extraordinarily creative event planners at
The Muse (Francesca Gadaleta Giessman, David Dennis,
Kerry Anne Watson) in collaboration with Perigee Books,
it featured an ambiance and atmosphere of merriment and
inspiration that both the Muses of Greek Mythology and
The Muse Hotel are famous for!
"I feel like I am on Helicon Mountain, dancing
with The Muses," said one reveler. "The people
here are so interesting and the atmosphere is so
The edible offerings of the evening were an appealing
feast of fruits, nuts, vegetables, delicious breads,
cheeses and crackers placed on an eye-catching banquet
that recalled the days of ancient Greece. The libation
of the hour was a fruity "ambrosia," a version
of the delightful ancient "nectar of the Gods and
Goddesses," created especially for the event.
Participants were treated to unique displays of many
of the Goddesses featured in A GODDESS IS A GIRL’S
BEST FRIEND and were able to see the pages of the book
come alive through interactive altars. The wall panels
of the Hotel’s Janus Room were lined with sparkling
temple clothes, engravings, art and images of the
Goddesses with explanation cards of who they are. Also
on display were museum replica goddess icons that Rev.
Laurie Sue has collected over time. Many of the
interactive altars offered a simple sampling of ways to
connect with the Goddesses – such as a love prayer to
Isis or Venus, writing a request for inspiration to your
Muse, placing a bindi on the forehead to connect with
the Hindu goddesses. By the end of the evening, the
prayer containers were filled with requests and many of
the women got into the spirit of the goddesses and were
sporting bindis. Some of the guys did too!
A "Goddess Squad" of Rev. Laurie Sue’s
author friends and minister pals circulated the room all
night, like real life Muses, helping participants offer
prayers at the Goddess altars and answering questions
about the emotional and spiritual significance of the
Divine Feminine for modern women. The Goddess Squad
included clinical psychologist and radio personality Dr.
Judy Kuriansky, astrologer Shelley Ackerman, ritual
expert Barbara Biziou, and psychotherapist and minister
Rev. Ann Gordon.
Rev. Laurie Sue (right) celebrates with Goddess pal Dr. Judy Kuriansky
and Mark Briskin, General Manager of The Muse Hotel in NYC.
Laura Norman and Associates, New York’s premier
reflexologists, enhanced the experience by offering
complementary "feel like a goddess" mini foot
reflexology sessions, encouraging participants to feel
pampered and divine. Reflexology is mentioned in the
book as one of the suggested ways to connect with
Egyptian goddess of beauty, Hathor, one of 31 awesome
archetypes who are featured in A Goddess Is a Girl’s
Best Friend. The Muses also are featured in their
Many women dressed up in outfits that made them feel
beautiful and divine. Rev. Laurie Sue’s simple yet
elegant black pants ensemble was by Gabrielle Carlson, a
designer devoted to helping women of all sizes and
personalities feel and look like the goddesses they are!
There were several presentations through the night,
beginning with the opening remarks from The Muse’s
wonderful General Manager, Mark Briskin, a kind-hearted
Hero who commented the marriage of The Muse with this
book on Goddesses was a perfect fit. "Laurie Sue’s
theme of inspiring women makes The Muse a perfect venue
for this event." The ambience and the theme of The
Muse Hotel is "Be inspired."
Rev. Laurie Sue offered an invocation to the nine
Muses and suggested that with so many professional,
creative people present that guests are likely to meet
and network with many real live muses. She closed with a
brief Native American style prayer for peace. Both came
from the pages of A Goddess Is A Girl’s Best
Friend. She gave a "Get To Know The
Goddesses Tour" and there was also a wonderful
Goddess Raffle that included gifts from companies
devoted to empowering the feminine spirit, such as femailcreations.com
Rev. Laurie Sue enthusiastically told the crowd that
The Muse Hotel is a perfect representation of what she
conveys in her book – that if we place ourselves in
goddess friendly environments and include the goddesses
in daily life we will begin to get in touch with, and
honor, the goddess within. "To bring the Goddess
into daily life is to celebrate our own divinity,"
"When I first walked up 46th Street
and saw the wonderful sign for "The Muse"
jutting out into Times Square I felt it was the modern
version of Helicon Mountain where the Muses and Apollo
would gather," she said. "The minute you walk
into this place you feel you are in a venue fit for a
Goddess, or God. It’s beautiful, comfortable,
inspiring. They have angel wings in the lobby, goddess
images in the rooms and the goddess on the soap! Then
there is a the service and the way they put together an
event – with such soulfulness and class."
Kerry Anne Watson, of The Zimmerman Agency,
represents The Muse Hotel and can be reached at
850-668-2222. For more information on The Muse, please
Reverend Laurie Sue's Past Columns:
2002 - "Who is the Goddess?" & "The
2002 - "How to Clear Your Love Clutter"
2002 - "How to Mourn a Broken Heart and Lost
2002 - "Relationships That Nurture and Inspire
Growth of the Soul
2002 - "Finding Peace in a Turbulent World"
2002 - "Sacred Sexuality For Modern Men and
2002 - "When Someone You Love Pushes Your Buttons"
2002 - "When Life Has You Down, Remember You Are
2002 - "Plan a Valentine's Day Team Date"
2002 - "Do I Hear Him Knocking … From the Other
2001 - "How Do We Make Our Love Dreams Come True?"
2001 - "What is the Future of Love?"
2001 - "Getting to Know
the Goddess of Good Fortune"
2001 - "Can't Hurry Love... It Will Happen in Its Right Moment"
2001 - "Family Rituals Help Us Grow Into Loving Beings"
2001 - "Dreams Warn It’s Time To Own Your Power"
2001 - "A Fun Visual of Your Favorite Romance"
May 2001 - "Someday
Your Mystical Soul Mate Will Come"
2001 - "Enjoy the Merriment and Fun of An Ancient Love
2001 - "Nourish Yourself On a Date for One"
2001 - "Get Ready for Soulful Love"
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is
an interfaith minister who is often called upon to
teach, speak and write about women’s spirituality and
The Feminine Faces of God. She is author of, A GODDESS
IS A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND: A DIVINE GUIDE TO FINDING
LOVE, SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS, from Perigee Books,
For more information:
or to join "The Goddess
List" for inspirational and informational
electronic message, Email: GoddessLaxmi@aol.com
TO SOULFUL THOUGHTS