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Writing Our Hearts
Out
November 2003
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by Nessa McCasey |
We are very pleased
to welcome Nessa McCasey to SoulfulLiving.com as our
newest monthly columnist! Each month, Nessa will offer
a poem or short writing based on our magazine's monthly
theme and will provide techniques for creative
expression that you can use to explore the topic
yourself.
Midlife Questioning:
One Writer’s Path to Learning
Although I’m not exactly sure when I would mark my
midlife as beginning, I do know that I have been
searching for inner fulfillment for some time. Time and
again, I have felt the need to listen to my deepest
desires, particularly as I have become more aware of a
finite period for my life. Simply the title of Dawna
Markova’s book, "I Will Not Die An Unlived
Life" is an inspiration. I want to live my life
fully, according to my passions and sense of purpose.
And of course, it is only through searching my heart
that I will know the next step on that path.
For me, writing has always been the perfect way to
find answers of all kinds, for both internal and
external knowledge. Earlier in my life, as a corporate
writer and editor, I found that I was continually
engaged in learning, and I loved that! I once boasted
that I had come upon the fount of continuing education
— learning on the job! I learned about the U.S. space
industry and planetary research as I edited
presentations by scientists and worked with NASA
personnel. When I was employed by a business software
company, I learned about many aspects of business,
calling it my own "Master of Business
Administration." Now that I am learning about
dementia and the issues around memory loss as I face
their effects on my father, I am led intuitively to
research and then write about it.
I tell you this not so that you will be impressed
with my knowledge, but to share with you my firm belief
that writing is a process for learning. In this Age of
Information, there is one absolute expertise that we
each have — ourselves. The truths that I hold within
myself are precisely true for me. No one else can truly
know these until I share them. I might not even truly
understand them until I explore them. And this is the
value of QUESTIONS.
I expect that on the day that I die, I will still
have questions. In the meantime, I continue to explore
my life and the world around me. Midlife — what does
it mean to me? What does it mean to you? We can start
with a question that might seem a little out of the
ordinary:
- How would your life be different if you were a
redhead? (Or a blonde, or a brunette…) My writing
group recently used this question as a writing prompt
and after we had shared and enjoyed each others’
responses of creative, adventuring images, the
inevitable question followed: And why can’t we live
that way now, without having a different hair color? I
wanted to lean into the feeling I had of freedom and
creativity and joy. My hair color certainly was not
stopping me from doing that right now. My thanks to Jean
King for suggesting this question for my own writing and
self-exploring.
Try writing your own answers to this question. And
then use more adjectives, such as:
How would your life be different if you were…
- … a man (or a woman)?
- … born in England (or Africa, or Japan or
…)?
- … a doctor (or a teacher, mother, father,
police officer, etc.)?
Then take another step. Consider those things that
you aren’t doing now in your life. How might you
incorporate those activities, attitudes, values, etc.
into your life right now? For example, I wrote that if I
were a redhead, I would live more vivaciously. How might
I live more passionately right now, as the
brown-haired woman that I am? I know that I have more
energy when I listen to Ottmar Liebert’s compact
discs, flamboyantly dancing in my own living room. So I
decide that I will play Ottmar Liebert’s music more
often at home. I wrote that I would be more
self-directed if I were a redhead. I decide right now to
stop complaining about being unorganized and start
clearing my cluttered desk so that I can plan and follow
through to reach more of my goals. It seems that one
thing leads to another: my fantastic notions of how I
might be different based on an external change leads
directly to ideas for me to change my life in seemingly
small and yet notable ways.
At the same time, however, life continues to happen
with obstacles being placed in front of all of us. Or
are they obstacles? As I have aged, I have learned that
anxiety doesn’t serve me well and that patience is a
practice that leaves me with a satisfying sense of
sanity. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I don’t
spin my wheels with regularity… So how can I manage to
continue to observe my path and adjust it according to
my heart’s guiding whispers while at the same time
attending to the necessities of life (such as supporting
an ill parent or friends who suffer illness or grief)?
It has always been my goal to have relationships that
are meaningful, that I will act to help my family or
friends, and allow myself to be similarly supported.
Through my writing exploration, I also take note how my
chosen value of caring for others aligns with the
seeming obstacles of crisis, as I am rewarded with a
confirmation that I am truly living the life that I
desire to live. You can have a similarly insightful
exploration through your own writings in this way.
I have witnessed my clients’ self-empowerment
improve as they write in a supportive environment, such
as a poetry therapy group. Sharing one’s writing with
a friend or acquaintance can also be affirming. It takes
courage to step outside oneself, first on the blank
page, and then to share it further. Knowing who to share
it with is an important self-preservation tool, as well.
Affirmation is essential when we write out our hearts’
deep words.
Just as when children are learning writing in their
early years of school, we all bloom when supported
gently and with affirmation. I have found that these
words of T.S. Eliot are true for me; perhaps you will,
too.
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Here’s one more writing possibility. In my poem
below, the first letter of each line spells out the
word, Midlife. See if you like my poem and then try your
own. I would be honored if you would share your writing
with me, if you so choose. You can send it to the email
listed below.
MIDLIFE
Mysterious journey to an
Island in the stream of life’s waters
Dawdling between naivete and wisdom
Living both at the same time
Innocently traveling to the next destination
Fond as we are of the present
Exuberant about the futures.
What might you say using this format?
M…
I…
D…
L…
I…
F…
E…
Midlife is for me a great time for exploration. I
wish you to have the courage for your own exploration
and the affirming support that you deserve as your words
come forth.
© Copyright 2003 Nessa McCasey. All Rights
Reserved.
Read Nessa McCasey's Past Columns:
October
2003 - Can We Write (or Read) Our Way to Serenity?
Nessa McCasey,
A former technical editor for NASA, street/performance poet in Denver, corporate writer, single mom, marketing communications specialist, and church music director. She is charting a new path for work and life in the profession of Poetry Therapy serving as a State Representative for the National Association for Poetry Therapy (NAPT) where she facilitates group or individual poetry therapy sessions and presents poetry and writing workshops to jump-start others in their own powers of creative expression.
You can reach Nessa at: poetnessa@writersofwrongs.com
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Email Nessa at:
poetnessa@writersofwrongs.com |
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