Challenge Can Be Our Greatest Gift
by Kay Nuyens
According to Shakespeare: "Nothing
is either good or bad but thinking makes it so." Life
is actually neutral. I believe it is our own perception
of life challenges that causes us pain. We give
everything in our life its meaning. We make ourselves
upset by what we tell ourselves about a particular
experience. We only see how the conditions affect the
present time, seeing through the filters of our own
beliefs. Our perception of things is limited; we cannot
see the whole picture. Years later we may see the real
implication of a significant event in our life. What we
once judged as "bad" actually may have been a
turning point in one’s life.
Here is an ancient
Chinese story, found in the Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff,
reflects this point of view. This old man has the
philosophy that in the long run you never know whether
something is good or bad. Wait
In ancient China an
old man lived with his son. One day he lost his only
horse. All his neighbors came by to commiserate with him
on his ill fortune. The old man countered, "What
makes you think this is ill fortune?" Next month
the horse returned, bringing with it a herd of other
horses. The neighbors returned to congratulate the old
man on his good fortune. The old man answered,
"What makes you think this is good fortune?"
With so many horses at hand, the old man's son took to
riding and one day fell off and broke his leg. The
neighbors were back to commiserate with the old man on
his bad luck. The old man said, "Why do you think
this is bad luck?" It happened that the next year
there was a war and because the old man's son could not
walk, he did not have to fight.
There is no good
news. There is no bad news. There is just news. Thus, we
see that events in themselves are neutral. It is the
interpretation that we place upon them that give them
meaning. I believe our primary purpose as spiritual
beings, in human form, is to evolve into a deeper
awareness of this spiritual self. We are here to
recognize our inherent worth. Sometimes it takes an
external challenge to force us to go within to find that
I invite you to state
these affirmations when you are in a situation that
causes you to move into judgment:
* I am willing to
withhold my personal judgment about this event.
* I accept this
experience as a gift that is masquerading as a
* I ask for Divine
assistance. Help me to see this situation with new eyes.
* I choose to focus on
whatever good I can glean from this experience.
* I trust that God
will take care of the details that I do not understand.
Transformational Healing is seeing our
suffering with new eyes. It allows us to be a witness to
it, then experience what it looks like and
how it feels. By shifting our level of awareness, we are
able to look at our suffering differently. When we look
at healing from our expanded awareness, we can have deep
love and compassion for ourselves, and those involved in
There are three stages of inner
transformation: experience, release and transformation.
Let me share with you an example:
One of my clients had a serious test
anxiety. She was studying to be a nurse and failed a
very important test. This required her to go back and
retake some of her classes. Her instructors suggested
she experience some hypnotherapy to get to the root
cause of this issue. Her instructors knew that she had
learned the material, but was unable to perform in a
test situation. When she was regressed to the root cause
of the problem, she realized it stemmed from three
different circumstances where she had been
inappropriately touched as a child. She had remembered
these experiences, but never connected them with her
test anxiety. The message she gave herself was that she
was no good. She didn’t deserve to succeed in life.
The unworthiness was overwhelming.
My client experienced her pain, was
able to release her emotions around these circumstances,
and transformed her outdated belief patterns. By
focusing on the area around her heart, she was able to
get in touch with the Divine part of herself. She
witnessed the experience through new eyes and found an
inner strength and compassion. She was able to see
herself as deserving the life she wanted. This woman was
actually looking forward to taking her next test, which
of course she passed. Experiencing, releasing and
forgiving the past allowed her to move forward.
If you are in the midst of a life
challenge, I invite you to follow these steps to
Some of the common beliefs surfacing with my clients
are, "I am not a good person. I am not important. I
am not lovable. I am not good enough. I am not worthy. I
don’t deserve to be successful."
- Do some journaling on this challenge
to discover some of your own self-limiting beliefs
Put yourself into a very relaxed
state. Take in some long,
slow, deep breaths and focus on your breathing. Call in
your Higher Self, that wise part of you that knows.
Explore with your deep inner mind what you need to pay
attention to today regarding your particular situation.
Ask for help in discovering the root
cause of this issue. You may
have a thought, a feeling, or even a physical reaction.
Some people may get impressions or pictures. If you are
not visual, you will probably feel a particular
sensation in your body as you focus on the issue. You
might ask it for a message. Be willing to explore this.
Be a witness to this experience without judgment. (If
you feel resistance, just ask yourself to pretend
that you know the root cause, for indeed a part of you
does know.) Allow any information to come forth.
Realize that the thoughts, feelings
and images that come up for you were in the past.
These have limited you from being your true self.
Release your feelings through journal writing, energy
therapies, rituals, visualizations, or by just setting
the intention to let them go. You have given yourself
permission to let go of the past baggage. I like to use
a healing body of water to assist clients in clearing
Ask for help in determining the soul
lesson. You might want to
reframe it by looking at it differently now. Can you
find a gift in this situation? How has it forced you to
Forgiveness often follows this
experience because one realizes that everyone does the
best they can at the time, even if it didn’t seem good
enough. If forgiveness feels
overwhelming for you, know that you only need a little
willingness to forgive. Spirit will take over the doing.
The following is a prayer I use with my clients, adapted
from Larry Nims, author of Be Set Free Fast, an energy
I forgive myself for taking this _________ on. I know
I was only doing the best I could. As much as I am
capable of forgiving others, I forgive anyone who may
have purposely or inadvertently contributed to this
issue I choose to resolve. I know they were only doing
the best they could also. I love and accept myself. I no
longer need this _______ any longer. I am now willing to
replace this ______ with________. (I often suggest
unconditional love and acceptance for oneself.)
The transformational stage occurs
after you have fully experienced and released the
original issue. Imagine that
you are now floating above the situation. Invite in some
healing light and water to fill every cell of your body
until you feel lighter. Send it through to purify the
experience you are witnessing. Move into the heart area
and fill your entire body with compassion, unconditional
love and acceptance. You might call in Angelic
assistance to assist you with total loving energy.
We each have an inner guidance system
to assist us in our healing. It brings forth our inner
wisdom to transform the old pattern. I believe that
everything we experience can be turned to good. Our
higher consciousness calls us to explore, release and
transform our deepest difficulties. Healing is a work of
a lifetime, and it can be a wonderful adventure as we
learn to move into our wholeness.
(I want to thank and honor Marilyn
Gordon, friend and author of Extraordinary Healing
for her valuable insights into Transformational
©Copyright 2002 Kay Nuyens. All Rights Reserved.
Kay Nuyens spent
twenty-five years teaching and counseling in the public
schools before buying early retirement in 1998. She has
manifested a new, more joyful and fulfilling life for
herself. She is now a certified clinical hypnotherapist,
author, speaker, teacher and a certified JOY
Practitioner, assisting struggling students to feel
successful. Her goal is to empower people to find their
inner connection, healing issues through awareness,
compassion and the power of love. Kay offers private
sessions, personal growth classes and workshops.
Her new book, "Invitation
to Greatness" is a workbook for personal growth. It
contains a treasure trove of exercises for inner
reflection, self-expression, clearing blocks and
creating new patterns. It is a personal journey to
discover your inner healer, your own loving essence.
Learn specific healing techniques to gain emotional
freedom and peace of mind. Discover how YOU can create a
successful life script! (www.changingfocus.net)