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On Being Prepared
by Mama Donna Henes
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The terrifying events of September 11, Hurricane
Katrina, and the financial crisis have rudely awakened
us from our naïve American delusions of safety and
exemption from many of the harsher realties of life. We
have been forced to face the fact that nothing in the
world is permanent. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing is
ever really completely safe. There is no such thing as
security. Anything, anything at all, can happen at any
moment. And in that moment, we are changed forever, as
well.
How the hell can we cope with such
uncertain times? (And all times are uncertain.)
Life is a dangerous
proposition all the way around. Nobody makes it out
alive, after all. We never know, from day to day, from
minute to minute, when a crisis will arrive unannounced
on our doorstep. We never know when or how we will be
called upon to rise to a
critical, pivotal occasion. Yet we would like to think
that we would be ready, willing and able to handle
whatever may come our way. Like any good scout, we aim
to be prepared.
Being prepared in the way that the Boy and Girl Scouts
mean, can get you only so far, however. Sure, it is
always a good idea to have a well-stocked pantry, tool
box and first aid kit — extra batteries, water, matches,
candles, aspirins — just in case. It behooves one to be
smart, to be alert, aware, vigilant, careful and calm.
But there is simply no way —
given the infinite
variety of diabolically
creative forms that death and destruction can take — to
be prepared for any conceivable contingency. How can we
predict and plan for every possible danger when fate
provides us with scenarios that no sane person could
ever invent?
Last year, I read about two well-heeled, well-coifed
Japanese tourists in London who were struck and killed
by lightning as they strolled through Hyde Park. The
wire, it would seem, on their under-wire brassieres had
attracted the deadly bolt. How could you ever anticipate
anything so bizarre?
A few years ago, a woman I once knew was walking with
her husband and two adolescent sons along Boston harbor
one sunny Sunday afternoon. They were eating ice cream
and looking at the ships when a freak wind came along
and knocked one of the boys into the water, never to be
seen again. Imagine. Life is so fragile that an errant
wind could literally blow you away forever.
Who, save for Hollywood’s most
obscene creators, could possibly have conjured the
unthinkable World Trade Center attacks? Hundreds of
fervent young men blowing themselves up in crowded
places? An entire city flooded, bodies floating down the
street? Let alone prepare for them?
The only way that we can prepare ourselves for
unanticipated change is to center ourselves in the
present moment. To pay attention. To really be
here now. To be ever mindful. If we can focus on the
immediate, rather than obsess over the past or try to
anticipate the future, we will have the presence of mind
to assess each situation as it arises. And we will be
able to be flexible in our response to it.
I
have a friend who rather tends toward panic. The woman
craves security. Just watching the dizzy ups and downs
of my ever-precarious economic circumstances over the
years would drive her to distraction. When the vagaries
of my life made her especially nervous, she would
question me, “What, exactly, are you going to do?”
Exactly? “Well, I will do such and such,” I would
brazenly reply, not because I knew that to be true, but
because I felt compelled to come up with an answer to
ease her concern and worry on my behalf. Of course, the
correct and honest answer always has to be, “I don’t
know. It depends. I have to see. I have to think. I have
to feel. I have to meditate. I have to consult the
cards. I have to do what seems right at the moment.”
This is not being irresponsible. It is the ultimate
response-ability.
Eventually, I came to understand that she was asking the
wrong question in the first place. It is not so
important to know what you will do in any given
situation. The crucial thing is to know that you will be
able to do something. To have faith in your own
assessments, instincts and intuition to be able to
figure it out as you go along. To have confidence in
your ability to think on your feet. To believe in your
good intentions and your courage to do whatever is
called for.
I remember so vividly the last cogent conversation that
I had with my best dear friend Jimmy a few days before
he died. I asked him what lessons he had learned having
had to deal with a mortal disease for so many years.
What did all the pain and suffering come to in a
spiritual sense? He replied that he had learned that he
had inside of himself the resources that he needed in
order to do what he had to do. He just had to be present
and respond as best he could. He had never known that
before, he told me.
What a valuable lesson, though I certainly don’t want to
die in order to learn it. It seems to me that the secret
to preparation is mindful presence. To live the life
that we have, while we can, as best as we can, and to
appreciate every minute of it. L’ chaim!, the
Yiddish toast, “To life!” recognizes and salutes life in
all of its fullness and complexity. It celebrates all
of it — the good, the bad, the ugly — for tomorrow we
die.
Recently, I went to a 60th birthday bash at the
Tropicana Night Club in Manhattan. Manuel, whose party
it was, was scheduled for major surgery early the next
morning. But meanwhile, here he was, turned out in a
spiffy tux playing most gracious host to all of his
friends. The champagne flowed, the salsa was hot and the
merengué was cool.
Since the partygoers were mostly of a certain age, it
would be safe to assume that they had all seen and
suffered a good bit thus far in their lives. Yet, here
they were, aches, pains, disappointments, sorrows and
all, dressed to the nines, eating, drinking, laughing,
dancing the night away.
How beautiful and brave we human beings are. Though
fully cognizant of our vulnerability, our mortality, we
gamely keep on continuing on. Trying to make things
better. Making the best of things. Living as if it
mattered. May we all mambo in their footsteps, ever
spinning toward perspective, acceptance, compassion,
wisdom and grace.
© Copyright 2009
Donna Henes. All Rights
Reserved.
Donna Henes
is an internationally renowned urban shaman, eco-ceremonialist, award-winning author, syndicated columnist, popular speaker and workshop leader whose joyful celebrations of celestial events have introduced ancient traditional rituals and
contemporary ceremonies to millions of people in more than 100 cities since 1972. In addition to her popular public rituals for equinoxes and solstices, she is the official Grand Spirit Marshall of the world famous Greenwich Village Halloween Parade and the Mistress of
Blessing Ceremonies for NYC Earth Day Festivities. She has conducted public blessings of the NY Stock Exchange on Wall Street and an Inauguration Purification Ritual in Washington, DC.
She has published four books, a CD, an acclaimed quarterly journal and writes a column for UPI (United Press International) Religion and Spirituality Forum. Mama Donna, as she is affectionately called, maintains a ceremonial center,
spirit shop, ritual practice and consultancy in Exotic Brooklyn, NY where she works with individuals, groups, institutions, municipalities and corporations to create meaningful ceremonies for every imaginable occasion.
For information about upcoming events and services contact:
www.DonnaHenes.net
www.MamaDonnasSpiritShop.com
www.TheQueenofMySelf.com
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donna_Henes
Watch her videos
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yAR-aIiQ_xE
Follow her on
Twitter:
http://twitter.com/queenmamadonna
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