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Robin L. Silverman

Moving Forward Fullisticallyô
by Robin L. Silverman

"I donít know what to do," Marie* (name changed) pined. "Iíve tried every diet imaginable, and I still canít lose weight. Iím sick of the limitations, the fear, and the frustration."

I suggested that Marie stop doing what sheíd already done, since she wanted something different than what she had already gotten. Repeating past approaches just creates similar results, and if those arenít pleasing, then itís time to try something new.

Something Wonderful is About to Happen by Robin Silverman

Instead, I suggested that Marie approach her weight fullisticallyô. Fullisticsô is the art and science of complete mind, body and spirit integration so that you can move forward in life without stressful resistance within or outside yourself. Itís a method that combines universal laws with our inner gifts so we can live happier, healthier, more fearless lives. It works for weight loss, in relationships, at work, and in many other ways.

Fullisticô living begins with the heart. In order to move forward, Marie has to clarify how she would love to be. Her past experience focused on what she wanted to be, like size 8 or 130 pounds. Fullisticô change begins by listening to your heart, and acknowledging that yes, there is something wonderful that is yours alone that you were born to express.

Like many others, Marie found it difficult to identify how she wanted to be. So I suggested that she begin at the beginning, with the values she treasured most. She identified honesty, responsibility and loving as her top three. These, she said, would make her feel peaceful and radiant.

I then explained that it was necessary to align those values with her thoughts, words and actions concerning her life, not her weight. She found this curious, and asked, "How can I lose weight if I donít focus all my attention on it?" I explained that quantum physicists proved decades ago that whatever we pay attention to expands. The very act of observation draws energy to the observed subject, increasing its mass. So it didnít matter if she wanted to lose fat. By focusing on the fat, it was like she was invisibly gluing it to her body.

To help her understand this concept, I asked, "What happens when you stop paying attention to the gas gauge in your car?" It eventually runs out of gas, she replied. "And what happens if you donít water your plants?" She nodded. "They die." I tried one more. "And if you donít work on your relationships?" She laughed. "I just broke up with my boyfriend over this one!"

"So you see?" I said. "If you ignore something, it will eventually go away."

"Not true!" she countered. "Iíve tried ignoring my weight, and it went up."

"Then you werenít ignoring it," I said. "You were noticing that it went up."

Before she could argue the point further, I explained, "Shifting your attention from your weight to your life is just the first step. The next is finding what you want to fill the void. Remember: this is Fullisticô living. Think full, complete, whole, satisfying."

I pulled out the paper with her values. "Are you always honest?" I asked.

"Oh, yes!" she replied vigorously. "I never lie!"


"Not ever!"

I raised on eyebrow. "Even to yourself?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"What feels good to you?" I asked.

She smiled. "Flopping on the couch after dinner!"

"Does that make you feel good, or does that just give you some temporary relief from your stress?"

"Hmmm," she answered. "I never thought about it that way."

"I bet you end up feeling bad that you didnít do more after dinner," I said.

"Sometimes," she said with her head down. "But Iím tired!"

"No excuses," I said. "Tell me about something that you enjoy so much that you donít care what time it is."

Again, she thought. "I love watching sunsets. I could sit and stare at them forever."

"And when was the last time you did that?"

She shrugged. "When I went to Hawaii two years ago."

"Then youíre not being honest, are you?" I suggested.

"What do you mean?"

"If you were honest with yourself, you would admit that you love watching sunsets so much that you wished you could do it all the time."

"OK, fine. I wish I could do it all the time. But I canít."

"Why not?"

"Because I donít have time."

"No, you do have time," I said. "Itís just that now, youíre using it to faint on the couch because youíre so exhausted."

"But thatís because I work such long hours!" she said angrily. "What am I supposed to do about THAT?"

"I donít know," I said. "Because I donít know your work situation. But didnít you also say that responsibility was one of your values?"

"Yes, but..."

"Then are you really being responsible to yourself by continuing a situation that keeps you from something you know makes you peaceful, relaxed and feeling healthy?"

"What about my responsibility to pay the rent or to be responsible to others?"

"Fine. But it appears that all this responsibility is making you resentful. The key lies in your third value: loving. You need to be loving towards others while keeping a loving balance with yourself."

Marie eventually came to see that there was a Fullisticô disconnect between between what she valued and how she was living. Further, she was saying that she truly enjoyed one thing while doing another after dinner. Being honest, she could see that her actions denied her feelings, and her speech was often negative, reflecting the breech. Plus, she was beginning to have symptoms of a bad back, even though she didnít need to do any heavy lifting at work. She had chalked this up to her extra weight, but then realized that again, she wasnít being honest with herself.

The Ten Gifts by Robin Silverman

As a manager at a local nursing home, she was responsible for covering shifts of workers who didnít show up, often forcing her to work double shifts. Although she first saw this as responsible to her employer, she realized that it was compromising her physical health and peace of mind to the point where her anger and resentment put her in jeopardy. So she went and asked for a "demotion" to an hourly position so she could gain more control over her time.

Soon, she found herself taking walks after dinner to watch the sunset. Sometimes one of her friends joined her, but she also enjoyed the time alone. When summer came, she took a camera with her, and started taking photographs of the twilight. After spending more time outdoors, she grew interested in learning more about the birds she could hear singing on her adventures. She signed up for an adult education class one night a week, meeting other bird enthusiasts who suggested other hikes they could take.

One year later, Marie looked like a different woman. Her weight had dropped substantially, although even she said, "I have no idea how much. I just live my life now, and I donít worry about the scale. I feel great, and my doctor says that my numbers have never looked better. I donít worry about food, either. I eat when Iím hungry, which is not nearly as much now that Iím Ďfullí on my life. I even eat desserts now and then!"

Best of all, "I can always tell now if something Iím saying, thinking or doing is going against what I truly value. I get this little pain in my neck that says, ĎThat thought is really a pain in the neck!í So instead of saying something like, ĎI canít do that,í I say, ĎI canít do that right now, but I can see that others can, and if itís truly important to me, eventually I will learn how to do it, too.í"

Marie still works a full schedule at the nursing home. She is beloved by the residents for her gentle, loving manner. She now loves her work, and has taken special delight in sharing her photographs and adventures with her residents and colleagues.

Living Fullisticallyô means living fully as both a human being and as a spiritual one. Itís a matter of aligning what you know to be right and good with the power you have to create your life inwardly, outwardly, and with the help of the invisible quantum field that serves us all every time we focus thoughts, words and actions through our emotions.

To continue to move forward Fullisticallyô, youíll want to identify your highest values, and ask how they can serve others. Explore values that you believe will add to your own well-being, which in turn will aid the comfort, freedom and well-being of others. Read. Attend classes. Talk to others. Try to open one new door every day while you use your present experiences to build on what pleases you and change what doesnít.

The joy of Fullisticô living is that you never feel stuck. Instead, you sense you are well-planted here on earth, divinely connected, gloriously free from the opinions of others or from any desire to judge or change them. So the next time you find yourself treading water with the "same old" problem, make a Fullisticô shift. You wonít be the only one who is glad you did.

© Copyright 2004 Robin L. Silverman.  All Rights Reserved.

Robin L. Silverman
Robin L. Silverman is the author of the forthcoming book, "Fullistic Livingô." She is also the author of "The Ten Gifts" and "Something Wonderful is About to Happen." T



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