Go For Your Dreams by Marcia Wieder

FORGET RESOLUTIONS…THIS YEAR GO FOR YOUR DREAMS!

If you are starting to think about your New Year’s resolutions, or perhaps have already blown them, I have a better solution. This year, why not go for your dreams? Do you dream of doing less and having more? Would you like to be more successful and less stressed out? How about being healthier or in better shape? Do you want more quality time with friends and family? A new job, more passion, more money, greater ease? How about more fun? These are all great dreams and probably have far more chance of happening than your resolutions.

Why don’t resolutions work or typically last very long? Consider this. Your dreams and desires have more power than your doubts and dislikes, so it’s easier to move towards what you want, then it is to get rid of or move away from what you don’t want. Getting a healthier more vibrant body will be easier than losing weight. Building a successful business is more exciting than getting rid of debt.

By reading this article and taking a little time to dream, you can reconnect to your passion and to what really matters to you. Explore how you want the next year of your life to be and get inspired to make something big happen!

Where You Are and Where You Want To Be

As you begin to gain some clarity about where you want to be in life, it is important that you also look at your current reality. The road to your dreams starts here. In order to design a successful strategy for getting what you want, you need to know two things: where you are and where you want to be.

I can't stress enough the importance of making an honest assessment of where you are now. Starting with inaccurate information will lead to erroneous decisions about what has to be done, and how far you have to go, to reach your dream. For example, where are you currently with respect to the person-al, professional, health, and family aspects of your life? What concerns do you have in these areas? Do you worry that going for your dream will take more time than there is available? Perhaps you don't believe it's possible to make your dream come true. All this is part of your reality too.

No doubt you will find that you're at a different place within each aspect of your life--closer to your dream in some and farther away from it in others. That's a typical pattern. Ask yourself where you are not only with respect to your dream, but also with regard to your support system, your financial aspects, and your feelings. What are your concerns and beliefs?

The critical question becomes whether you're more committed to remaining where you are or to getting where you want to be. The difference between the two is what will propel you forward. As you look at where you are, you are likely to hear an inner voice whispering all your limitations--all your attitudes and beliefs, concerns, fears, worries, and tales about why you can't have what you want.

Fortunately, your positive attitudes and beliefs also will arise--that is, you do believe your dream is possible, it's something you've always wanted, something to which you're committed, something you know you can have. I’ll discuss the importance of your beliefs in just a moment. But first, let’s take a little inventory of your life.

Positioning Yourself

List where you are in each of the areas of your life compared to where you want to be with respect to your dream. Be brutally honest; you can't know where you want to go until you know with certainty where you are now. Don't judge; just write it all down.

Category         Where I Am Now           Where I Want To Be

Personal ______________________ ______________________

Professional __________________ ______________________

Family ______________________ ______________________

Friends ______________________ ______________________

Health/ ______________________ ______________________

Well-Being ___________________ _______________________

Financial ______________________ __________________

Fun ______________________ ______________________

Recreation ______________________ ______________________

Relationships ______________________ ______________________

Fitness ______________________ _______________________

Community ______________________ ______________________

Conflict Manipulation

Without our dreams, all we have is reality. And although reality is an essential part of the formula for getting what you want, if you are overly realistic, you may be killing off your passion. When we live primarily focused on reality, most of our energy goes towards fixing what’s wrong or getting rid of what we don’t want.

There's a different kind of energy, and so much more joy involved, when you are moving toward your dreams than there is when you are mired in reality or trying to fix something. Here’s a common example. "I’ve gained five pounds again." So I diet and exercise, but as soon as the scale shows I’ve lost a pound or two, I not only stop taking action, but I go looking for brownies and gain the weight back.

Manipulating the conflict always leads back to the conflict. To avoid manipulating the conflict, set up your life so that you're always moving toward what you want. If the dream is to be healthy and vibrant, to feel and look good, a different kind of energy will be applied than to the drudgery of getting rid of the weight by diet and exercise. What’s more powerful than conflict manipulation or problem solving, is to create a dream that matters more to you than your reality. Every day, ask yourself, "Am I more committed to my dream or to my reality?" If the answer is your dream, take action to prove it to yourself and to others.

Breaking Through Barriers & Beliefs

In the early phases of a dream there is often no evidence that your dream is a good idea. Or on a big dream, there may be no evidence that this is the right time to execute it. But it is your believing in it, talking about it and acting upon it, that will make it real. What often stops us from taking action is our limiting beliefs, and the biggest one is fear. As you become aware of what you believe and what is stopping you, you can make better choices.

The decisions you make ultimately result from the attitudes and beliefs you hold about everything in your life. The process looks like this:

Your Attitudes & Beliefs
Create
Your Thoughts & Feelings
Which Determine
Your Choices & Decisions

Attitudes and beliefs are at the core of how you react in the world. If you believe it's possible to make your dreams come true, yet you don't do it, there's a gap between where you are and where you want to be. This gap is comprised of your attitudes and beliefs. The bigger the negative beliefs, the wider the gap. Perhaps the voice of your doubter has gotten louder than the voice of your dreamer.

Attitudes and beliefs are never neutral. They either move you forward or hold you back. If your dream is to start your own business but you believe it will be too hard or that you might fail, your thoughts and feelings will concur that this is a bad idea and your decision might be to forget about it. But the same dream with a belief such as "I can do this" or "I believe in my dream," will take you to thoughts and feelings of excitement and hope, and ultimately to the choice to go for it, or at least to explore it.

Thoughts and Feelings

I mentioned that attitudes and beliefs lead to thoughts and feelings, which in turn lead to decisions and choices. If you want to become aware of your attitudes and beliefs, pay attention to what you're thinking and feeling. If your dream is to establish a new career, but your belief is that it's not possible, what do you think and feel about that? Do you feel futility, and resigned to the idea that you can't have your dream? Or, do you think you can have what you want because you deserve it?

Suppose your dream is to be successful, even famous. Specifically, you want USA Today to write a front-page story about you, but you don't believe it's possible. The logical sequence of your thought process might be that you don't think it can happen so you decide not to pursue it.

Now you have the same dream with a different belief. You believe it's possible to make your dream come true. Your thought process is, "I think I can make this happen," and "I think I know who can help me." Your new choice is to go for it.

Simply changing your belief has shifted your internal conversation from thinking of your dream as impossible to seeing its possibilities. Some people think it's difficult to change a belief and some people think it's easy; that's just your belief about your beliefs. To change a belief 1) choose a belief that is positive over your old limiting belief 2) practice believing it by 3) acting on it. And 4) acknowledge that you believed in your dream, acted on it and celebrate your success.

Do you believe it can't be that easy? What if it is that easy? It's all up to you. You decide whether to believe or not by acting on it. That's how beliefs work. One more very important point. If you are not managing your thoughts by choosing positive beliefs, what you will get by default are your old limiting beliefs.

You Choose

This is the most important point. We choose what we believe. Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet said, "Doubt is a feeling too lonely to know that Faith is its twin brother." You choose.

One belief will move you towards what you want and the other away. Which do you choose. Just remember, if you choose a positive belief (which I urge you to do) you must be willing to demonstrate that you believe in your dream BY TAKING ACTION.

Unexamined negative attitudes can become bigger than your dream, and turn into insurmountable obstacles after you're already on the road to what you want. If that happens, and you're stopped en route, you're unlikely to reach your dream. Confront and handle those attitudes now, and they can be used effectively to propel you toward where you want to be.

In today’s economy the attitude I hear expressed most often is, "I don't have enough money to pursue my dream." So I ask, "How much do you need?" I’ll bet you can guess the common response. They say, "I don’t know how much I need, but I know I don’t have enough." Money is not usually what stops us, but the fear of not having enough often can. We too often kill off our dreams before we explore the possibilities of where they might take us or how we might get there. Don’t say no before you explore yes.

Sabotaging Your Dreams

People frequently sabotage themselves by putting their attitudes, beliefs, or fears into their dream. If you're putting your concerns into your dreams, your fears will become bigger and seem more real as you move closer to getting what you want. Your concerns don't belong in your dream; they're part of where you are now, not where you're going. If your dream is to be successful, keep in the "Where I Am Now" section the fear that you won't have time for friends and family. Assume for the "Where I Want To Be" section that, in achieving the dream, you will have all the time you desire to enjoy your success, your friends and your family.

Let me make this essential point very clear. The number one way we sabotage our dreams is by projecting our fears, doubts and concerns into our dreams. They do not belong there. If and when you have them, they are part of your reality. Here you can deal with them by simply getting clear about what they are, designing a strategy for managing them and by asking for help.

Are you more committed

to remaining where you are

or to getting where you want to be?

The evidence is in the action you are or are not taking.

Facing Fear

Many of us seem devoted to consistency as a way of life. Yet the only constant is change. I saw this on a tip jar in a coffee shop. "If you fear change, leave it here." You can learn whether you're on the right path to where you want to be by facing fear and acknowledging it as a landmark for change. If you were not moving away from your current identity, if you were not seeking to change your life, you would not be experiencing fear.

Because we think of "change" as filled with murky unknowns, the ultimate fear may feel like death. However, the experience is actually the old you dying away, and allowing you to be transformed. This is good news. By trusting what you want, often you will be able to release the part of you that was afraid of making your dream come true. By shedding the pieces that no longer fit, you can create a new dream to move toward.

Fear is actually a measurement tool; it means that you're leaving the old behind; it's a gift that indicates you are closer to your dream. Fear can be seen as a healthy and natural mechanism, a sign of vitality, and evidence that you are in process. Sadly, unless you learn to use fear as empowerment, it can also stop your progress. Rather than just blanketing your life by saying "I’m afraid," practice being more specific. Afraid of what? The more clarity you have, the easier it will be to get the support you need to go through your fear.

Take Action

Your dream begins to take on life as you envision it, speak about it and act on it. As you open yourself up to unlimited possibilities, many things can start to happen. Follow through on your commitment: walk your talk. Be a visionary. A visionary has a vision or a dream, articulates it with clarity and passion, gets others excited about it and invites them to play. Dream Big, share your dream and remind others to do the same.

And every day prove to yourself and to the world that you are going for it. Remember to use these daily check-ins. Are you more committed to your dream or to your reality? Are you believing in your positive belief or your old limiting belief? The answer is in the action you are taking. Every day do something (at least one thing) to move your dream forward. Success is guaranteed!

Commitment leads to action

Action brings your dream closer to you.

BIG DREAMING: FIVE PRINCIPLES THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR BUSINESS & YOUR LIFE

Here are five key values practiced and lived by big dreamers. I call these Principles for Living On Purpose. Add more of any one of these to your life and with your team, and you are guaranteed to see results, including happier people and a more profitable business They include: setting an intention, living with integrity, sharing your dreams, taking action, and building DreamTeams.

1. Intention – It is the setting of your intention that will allow wonderful resources, opportunities and people to show up to support you. You have to be clear, I mean crystal clear, about where you are going, the end result you are aiming for. What do you intend to do, create or accomplish?

When should you set an intention? You may be surprised by my response. You could set an intention every day, even every moment of each day. Do you intend to live on purpose? Do you intend to learn and grow? Do you intend to be loving and kind?

Here are some times to consider setting an intention:

Before you go to sleep, intend to rest.

Before you open your eyes, intend to have a quiet and focused mind.

Before you get out of bed, intend to have a fun and productive day.

Before you eat breakfast, or any meal, intend to taste and enjoy it.

Before you leave the house, intend to have a heartfelt moment with your family.

Before you start your car, intend to have a safe ride or walk to work.

Before you dive into work, intend to learn something new and be successful.

And so on. The operative word here is before. You set an intention and then you take action. These are simple intentions. We also want to have deeper, meaningful intentions about how we live our lives. How do you intend to feel every day? How do you intend to express your love? How do you intend to express your creativity? How do you intend to have fun, to make a contribution, to take a risk? How do you intend to live?

2. Integrity - If you were to survey big dreamers and successful people on the qualities that they value most, at the top of the list is usually integrity. Keeping your word and delivering on your promises is essential. When you have cleaned up your past and are free to move forward, not only are your dreams more attainable, they are richer, deeper and more rewarding. You have the opportunity to honestly assess your entire life and to become more alive than you ever imagined. Through simple steps, you can free your past and make room in the present, so you can dream and live the life you long for.

Learn the process that deals with truth, honor and your word as your bond, and you will experience ease and shortcuts on your dreams. This principal, best summed up as maintaining integrity, is the very essence of a true living dreamer. I know I have integrity when I have peace of mind. There are no skeletons in my closet, no incompletions weighing heavily on my shoulders. I am simply saying that when life flows with ease and grace, we can trust that we are in the right place, at the right time, but more importantly than that, we are living with integrity.

Integrity comes in many forms and fashions, but has to do with wholeness. Are you whole, are you complete, and is your life intact? Are your relationships whole, complete and intact? How about your health, your finances, your home, your car, your heart? Integrity is essential not only to being a dreamer, but also to your well being. If you are indeed intentional and committed to living a life of joy, ease and abundance, a life filled with love, generosity and contribution, integrity is a must. All the money in the world will be worthless without it, and with all the people in the world you may still feel lonely, if you are not and can not be true to yourself. A building can not stand without integrity, a car can not drive without it, and you certainly can not have the life of your dreams without it.

For this reason, it’s useful to see where your life is working and perhaps where it is stuck, clogged or shutdown. I will show you how to take a simple inventory. This will help you become clear about where you are and what’s working or not working in your life, so you can make powerful choices about what you do and don’t want. The difference between where you are and where you want to be will reveal simple steps that need to be taken. But this powerful process of exploring what’s been left unsaid, undone or incomplete in your life, is one of the most awesome things you can do to have freedom and access to your dreams.

I have an extremely potent and unbelievably simple approach to help you do this. But don’t be deceived by its apparent simplicity. This assignment, if undertaken completely and with full integrity, meaning to the best of your true ability, may be the most profound thing you have ever done in your life. And once you clean house (including mind, body and car) there is a big payoff. You will experience tremendous peace of mind and greater ease in your life while accomplishing your new dreams.

Once you’ve done this, it’s complete and maintenance is easy. You do not need to go back to being the "old you" or creating more skeletons in your closets. Transformation means you have changed and are living a different kind of life. Once you complete your incompletions, and practice not creating new ones, you will know the sweet taste of freedom beyond anything you have ever experienced.

The Completion Inventory

Here are the three simple steps.

1. Ask yourself what’s incomplete here and write it down.
2. Ask yourself what do you need to do to complete this, and write that down.
3. Complete what’s incomplete.

The areas I recommend you visit should include but not be limited to are: your health, your body, your spirit, your mind, your work, your home, your relationships, your car, your legal matters, medical issues, taxes, insurance. You get the idea.

That’s it. When you finish, you will have a list, long or short of things you need to do to live in integrity. With each item you check off your list, you’ll feel lighter and freer. You’ll gain more clarity about yourself, your values and your truth. You’ll find your authentic voice, make better decisions, pursue bigger dreams and sleep better at night.

3. Share Your Dream – With newfound clarity (from your intention) and new found freedom (from living with integrity) the world is your oyster. Now when you speak about your dream or vision, there will be nothing in your way. People will relate to you differently because you will feel different about yourself. You can move forward with confidence, knowing that you can trust yourself and therefore, others can trust you.

With clarity and focus you will speak about your dream with a whole new level of passion. You will feel it in every cell of your body, and you will be aligned. Passionate living is when we align our head and heart through our actions. This is also another form of integrity.

There are many ways you can share your dream. The most important thing is that you find your voice. A visionary is someone with a vision or a dream. But a visionary also articulates their dream with such clarity that others understand what it is and with such passion that others want to participate with them. A visionary inspires with greater purpose.

And a visionary brings voice to their vision. "A visionary becomes a true leader, when they can communicate the vision, " Dick DeVos, the President of Amway Corporation told me during a recent interview. They let their dream be heard and have impact. Sometimes it is a popular message and sometimes they are one lone voice. Regardless, they hold true to what they believe in, to what inspires them, and they bring it alive in the world through their convictions, words and of course, actions.

There is a reason the throat lies between our head and heart. True communications asks us to feel what matters to us and what we are passionate about, and then to process it into thoughts and ideas. When you express your heart’s desire through words and language, others can share it and become a part of it. It is through language, the what we say, when we say it, and most importantly, how we say it, that connects us with others and creates amazing outcomes.

4. Take action – When all is said and done, it is essential that you put everything you have learned into action. Although words are powerful, they are not enough. Actions speak even louder than words. You must take the necessary steps forward by taking action; get mobile and get going. It is through the steps you do take, that you can actually see what you have learned, the progress you are making, where you are stuck and where you need help. Without action, we are "just" dreamers. And without progress we may simply be day dreaming or fantasizing, accomplishing nothing.

It is what you do, that actually demonstrates to you and others, that you are not just talking about your dreams and they are not casual flights of fancy. Taking action is power. People judge us much more based on what we do, not just what we say. This may sound so simple, perhaps even understated, but to not mention it and emphasize the importance of it would make this process incomplete. What action will you or are you taking to move your dream forward? What are you doing to make your dreams real? Specifically, what are you doing to create a dream come true life?

In my work, I always ask people to create a "WOW." Within One Week, what’s a powerful step you will take to catapult your dream forward? Big dreamers take many steps every single day as they are constantly and continuously in action on their dreams. What’s one thing you could do today, right now, to demonstrate your commitment to your dream? One call, one email, one conversation that you can have today? Everything changes when you take action.

Yes, I know there are dream killers and dream stealers out there, but I promise you this. With intention and integrity, you will weed them out. You will no longer waste energy with people who do not support your dreams. This does not mean you will abandon your friends or family, but you will make room if your life for big dreamers and you will delight in who shows up. And as your family watches you move into action on the dreams that you have been talking about, or thinking about, and as they watch you joyfully produce life-changing results, even some of your most hardcore skeptics may have a change of heart.

Build awesome DreamTeams. Begin with one person who believes in you and your dream. Then seek out others. Inspire them with your vision and passion. Show them you are serious through the action you take every day. Invite the to join you as you encourage them to dream bigger dreams. Even with an existing team or downline, you can re-ignite passion and produce far better results when you begin to operate as a DreamTeam. When we connect our financial goals to our dreams and desires, the energy for achieving our goals becomes much more dynamic and meaningful. This is the power of going for your dreams and sharing them with your team.

The world needs your dreams. It’s never been a better time to take a stand for what matters to you most. Stand up, speak out and be heard. Your dreams matter and will impact the lives of many people. Be generous with what you value, for this too is a form of integrity and intention.

© Copyright 2004 Marcia Wieder.  All Rights Reserved. 

Marcia Wieder (Marsha Weeder)
Oprah Winfrey called Marcia Wieder America’s Dream Coach. Marcia built a three million dollar marketing company based in Washington D.C. and in 1989, announced she was leaving that business to move to California to help people achieve their dreams.

Marcia travels extensively presenting workshops on visionary planning and team building to companies such as Lucent, State Farm, AT&T, American Express and The Young Presidents' Organization. She is committed to re-igniting passion in the business world and making the world a better place.

Marcia has written 3 books, Making Your Dreams Come True, Life Is But A Dream and Doing Less and Having More, and she is near completion of her first novel. She leads Dream Coach® University in San Francisco, a week-long curriculum where she teaches and certifies Dream Coaches to lead her work, which you are invited to attend.

She has appeared several times on Oprah and The Today Show, and PBS featured her in her own national television special called Making Your Dreams Come True. She teaches at the Stanford Business School and at Girl Scout Camp.

Marcia is a member of the National Speakers Association, the Direct Selling Association and past president of the National Association of Women Business Owners. She lives in her "dream" city of San Francisco where she is pursuing her dream of living at the water, balancing work and play, with much more emphasis on play.

Subscribe to her free E-Letter at www.marciaw.com

Visit Marcia Wieder at:
www.marciaw.com

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