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Expectation is the Death of Serenity
by Jackie Lapin |
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I recently read a profound statement in Dr. Joy
Browne's bestselling book Getting Unstuck (available
at Manifestbooks.com). She said Expectation
is the Death of Serenity.
Whew! How totally true that is!
Just think what life would be like if we
didn't have any specific expectations of outcome?
You would just be going along appreciating every new
experience. There would be no judgment, no
disappointment, no entitlement, no disenchantment, and
no disillusionment. Without setting up expectations, you
would be free to use your time in experiencing what is
right before you. There would be no time wasted on
projecting into the future and you would never feel
shortchanged.
What makes us feel disappointed and
shortchanged? When we have imagined how
something should be and it just doesn't turn out to be
that way…whether that is because someone else has
dropped the ball, we misinterpreted what was promised or
we have created and imagined in our minds that doesn't
match the reality.
The end result is that we feel somehow diminished by
what actually occurs. But do we leave it alone, no! We
compound the problem by going over and over it in our
minds, and even confronting others that we choose to
blame for not living up to our expectations.
Consider some of the ways that Expectations
rule our lives and see if any of these scenarios are
yours:
- Our partners do not love us the way we think
they should.
- Our bosses do not give us the credit we deserve.
- Our jobs do not provide for us the stimulation,
challenge and excitement we anticipated they would.
- Our vacations don't turn out to be as thrilling
as we imagined they were when we saw the brochure.
- Our neighbors are never friendly enough.
- Our children disappoint us by disregarding our
advice and guidance, or not being attentive or
grateful.
- Our heroes don't behave like heroes.
- Our houses don't retain the value that we
believed they had when we bought them.
- Our retailers never have exactly what we want.
- Our partners aren't as successful as we want
them to be.
- Our purchases don't fulfill what we expect them
to do.
- Our teachers don't entertain us the way we want
to be entertained in the classroom.
- Our parents have never respected and loved us
the way we think we should be respected and loved.
- Our bodies don't maintain their health
automatically without effort on our part.
These are just a sampling. I'm sure you can
look at your life and see where your expectations are
making you angry, frustrated, stuck and unhappy…where
your equilibrium has been destroyed by obsessing over
what you think SHOULD be.
Now let's back away from all of that and
imagine what life would be like if you just let go of
your expectations and set your equilibrium by what is.
By staying out of the future, and simply allowing life
to unfold with wonder, enjoyment, amusement and delight.
Get rid of your measuring stick. Stop wasting time and
emotional energy on creating expectations, evaluating
what occurs and then fussing over things when they fall
short.
You can create freedom and peace for yourself
by not assigning future value to what has yet to happen.
Let's take Dr. Browne's statement to heart—Expectation
is the death of serenity. Eliminate expectation and
serenity can indeed be yours!
© Copyright 2010 Jackie Lapin.
All Rights Reserved.
By
Jackie Laplin:
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Jackie Lapin tours the world teaching
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