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Kay Nuyens

Living an Authentic Life
by Kay Nuyens

Living authentically is a journey of remembrance, acknowledging that we are powerful spiritual beings, co-creators with the Universe. To remember this truth, we need to move away from our mind’s incessant chatter, and move directly into our hearts. This is the quiet space of our true essence, our knowing. Aligning our heart with the heart of God allows us to be in touch with our spirit. Each day we can request to see ourselves as God sees us, in all of our perfection, without judgment or expectations. We are no ordinary beings. We are powerful spirits destined to remember our greatness, our Divine connection. It is time to remove the blocks. It is time to remember.

When we are living our truth, we act on the guidance that we receive, even if our ego begins to question that guidance. Recently I attended a workshop in another state. I arrived early and looked forward to checking into a hotel to relax before the workshop. Suddenly I just knew that I was not to get a hotel room; I would be invited to stay with another participant in the workshop. I experienced some resistance to the idea, since the workshop would end late in the evening and I didn’t want to be searching for a hotel at that hour. I let go of my ‘monkey-mind’ and allowed myself to move into trust. A kind family invited me to stay with them. To condense the story, staying with this family brought up a feeling of shame in me, a feeling I had not consciously been in touch with prior to this visit. As I meditated on the shame that came up for me, I discovered it went back to my two-year-old self. It was a wonderful, yet painful opportunity to learn a significant lesson. I was in awe of the power of this co-created lesson and how everything and everyone had to fall into place for this lesson to occur. Our wise self chooses the lessons we need to learn to remember the truth of who we are; lessons are wake-up calls for us. Trusting our guidance is essential. We are always under direct inspiration. What we need to know will be revealed to us in the perfect timing.

Living authentically means that we continue our path regardless of the opinions and beliefs of others. Some of my friends drifted away as I pursued a journey that was not considered mainstream. My husband and I have been happily married for more that thirty years. But Tom is an engineer, relying much on the scientific proof of the Universe, and his perception of things is much different than mine. In the past I attended many spiritual growth workshops and witnessed couples sharing the same beliefs. I would visibly cry, feeling so alone, and wanting Tom to join me in my metaphysical journey. Then I realized that loving him meant accepting him just as he was, without judgment. He allowed me to have my beliefs, and even supported me in my personal, spiritual growth. He loved me unconditionally, and I realized that I needed to offer him that same kind of love instead of trying to change him. I know that Tom and I were meant to be together. Now I believe that we set it up this way as a test for me to take responsibility for myself. We were young when we married, and he was the extrovert. I looked to him for strength. We are both authentic beings, expressing Spirit in our own unique ways. Relationships are our earthly assignments for mutual growth. Tom and I bring out the best in each other! The Course of Miracles states that the ego seeks intimacy through control and guilt. Holy Spirit seeks intimacy through acceptance and release. Today I can allow him to be who he needs to be without judgment or expectations. I can pursue my truth passionately, with or without approval of others.

Replacing fear with love allows us to replace the darkness with Light. I know that I am into my ego when fear comes up for me. It is my wounded child. Miracles happen for us when the ego steps aside and allows love to be present. Tom recently acquired a new job about seventy minutes away from our home. We are considering a move. The adult part of me was so excited, as I was ready for a change. I wanted a new highway to travel! Yet, through introspection, I found that my little child felt threatened and afraid. It was the third grade child, the shy one, who once had a challenging move and transition. This child part just needed love and assurance that this move would not create chaos in her life. With love, compassion and understanding, the fear melts away.

Fear is said to be just false evidence appearing real. We can choose to see the world as a safe space, focusing on what we want, or we can choose to live in a world that is dark and dangerous for us. It is our own perception that creates our world. How powerful we are to be able to create our own reality! With every thought we think, we create and recreate our world. I choose to see the world as one of beauty, harmony and abundance of all good things. It is our perception of ourselves that determines who we are in the world, so it is important to clear any blocks that prevent us from being the Light. We must consistently choose love over fear in transforming our inner world. Otherwise we live in an illusion and become victims of the world.

Forgiveness is essential in an authentic life. I have never had much difficulty forgiving others because I realize that everyone is my teacher. Sometimes these teachers are disguised as a ‘challenge,’ but I love ‘getting it,’ and actually learn to appreciate and honor the role these souls have agreed to play in my script. My challenge has been forgiving myself. I deserve better from myself, and have expressed a willingness to enjoy this new journey of self-forgiveness. I am learning to honor myself as I learn to let go of a judging process that no longer fits for me. I am learning to lighten up, being gentle with myself, as I am with others. It takes diligence and compassion to change old behavior patterns! We can all choose in the moment to STOP and choose differently. Know that we are not alone. Spirit helps create a shift in us if we ask for help.

When we fail to forgive, our health is affected. Our bodies become shut down. A Course in Miracles teaches us that anything that is not love is fear. Love makes our immune system stronger, healing our bodies. There is a wonderful book called Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol Truman. I use it with all my clients suffering a physical ailment. Karol teaches us how our emotions affect our bodies, by naming the probable causes of our illness. Rarely have I found a client who did not agree fully with the probable emotional cause of an illness. We are healthy when we are harmonious and happy.

Because our beliefs write our scripts, living authentically means releasing outdated, self-limiting patterns, moving into our greatness. It is possible to let go of sabotaging thoughts because we created them in the first place, or we assumed them from someone else. I have spent years releasing beliefs that no longer serve me, and yet sometimes that need for perfectionism still lingers as a noose around my neck. Yet, my own expectations for myself put a lot of pressure on me, and I don’t always ‘fly lightly.' There is a feeling of inner peace when we can relinquish judgment of self and others.

Living authentically is being committed to the truth of who we are, pure consciousness. It is setting the intention to walk with God more fully and gratefully, experiencing love. This work is a lifetime process, but in each moment, we have a choice. What choices will you make to live authentically today?

I offer some affirmations from my book, Invitation to Greatness, which have assisted me in living a more authentic life. I invite you to choose the affirmations that are most meaningful to you, and make them a part of your daily ritual.

  • I choose life-affirming patterns for myself.
  • I am a powerful being, reawakening to that power.
  • I have the courage to speak my truth.
  • I give myself permission to be who I am. I approve of me.
  • I trust my journey of unfolding. I am in the flow of life.
  • I am responsible for my own thoughts, feelings and behavior.
  • Nothing outside of me can cause me to lose my peace of mind.
  • I know I am not alone. The Universe supports me.
  • I ask for guidance in each moment.
  • In every moment I can make the choice for love.

©Copyright 2003 Kay Nuyens. All Rights Reserved. 

Kay Nuyens
Kay Nuyens spent twenty-five years teaching and counseling in the public schools before buying early retirement in 1998. She has manifested a new, more joyful and fulfilling life for herself. She is now a certified clinical hypnotherapist, author, speaker, teacher and a certified JOY Practitioner, assisting struggling students to feel successful. Her goal is to empower people to find their inner connection, healing issues through awareness, compassion and the power of love. Kay offers private sessions, personal growth classes and workshops.

Her new book, "Invitation to Greatness" is a workbook for personal growth. It contains a treasure trove of exercises for inner reflection, self-expression, clearing blocks and creating new patterns. It is a personal journey to discover your inner healer, your own loving essence. Learn specific healing techniques to gain emotional freedom and peace of mind. Discover how YOU can create a successful life script!  



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