by Marcia Wieder
FORGET RESOLUTIONSÖTHIS YEAR GO FOR
If you are starting to think about your New Yearís
resolutions, or perhaps have already blown them, I have
a better solution. This year, why not go for your
dreams? Do you dream of doing less and having more?
Would you like to be more successful and less stressed
out? How about being healthier or in better shape? Do
you want more quality time with friends and family? A
new job, more passion, more money, greater ease? How
about more fun? These are all great dreams and probably
have far more chance of happening than your resolutions.
Why donít resolutions work or typically last very
long? Consider this. Your dreams and desires have more
power than your doubts and dislikes, so itís easier to
move towards what you want, then it is to get rid of or
move away from what you donít want. Getting a
healthier more vibrant body will be easier than losing
weight. Building a successful business is more exciting
than getting rid of debt.
By reading this article and taking a little time to
dream, you can reconnect to your passion and to what
really matters to you. Explore how you want the next
year of your life to be and get inspired to make
something big happen!
Where You Are and Where You Want To Be
As you begin to gain some clarity about where you
want to be in life, it is important that you also look
at your current reality. The road to your dreams starts
here. In order to design a successful strategy for
getting what you want, you need to know two things:
where you are and where you want to be.
I can't stress enough the importance of making an
honest assessment of where you are now. Starting with
inaccurate information will lead to erroneous decisions
about what has to be done, and how far you have to go,
to reach your dream. For example, where are you
currently with respect to the person-al, professional,
health, and family aspects of your life? What concerns
do you have in these areas? Do you worry that going for
your dream will take more time than there is available?
Perhaps you don't believe it's possible to make your
dream come true. All this is part of your reality too.
No doubt you will find that you're at a different
place within each aspect of your life--closer to your
dream in some and farther away from it in others. That's
a typical pattern. Ask yourself where you are not only
with respect to your dream, but also with regard to your
support system, your financial aspects, and your
feelings. What are your concerns and beliefs?
The critical question becomes whether you're more
committed to remaining where you are or to getting where
you want to be. The difference between the two is
what will propel you forward. As you look at where you
are, you are likely to hear an inner voice whispering
all your limitations--all your attitudes and beliefs,
concerns, fears, worries, and tales about why you can't
have what you want.
Fortunately, your positive attitudes and beliefs also
will arise--that is, you do believe your dream is
possible, it's something you've always wanted, something
to which you're committed, something you know you can
have. Iíll discuss the importance of your beliefs in
just a moment. But first, letís take a little
inventory of your life.
List where you are in each of the areas of your life
compared to where you want to be with respect to your
dream. Be brutally honest; you can't know where you want
to go until you know with certainty where you are now.
Don't judge; just write it all down.
Where I Am Now
Where I Want To
Family ______________________ ______________________
Friends ______________________ ______________________
Health/ ______________________ ______________________
Financial ______________________ __________________
Fun ______________________ ______________________
Without our dreams, all we have is reality. And
although reality is an essential part of the formula for
getting what you want, if you are overly realistic, you
may be killing off your passion. When we live primarily
focused on reality, most of our energy goes towards
fixing whatís wrong or getting rid of what we donít
There's a different kind of energy, and so much more
joy involved, when you are moving toward your dreams
than there is when you are mired in reality or trying to
fix something. Hereís a common example. "Iíve
gained five pounds again." So I diet and exercise,
but as soon as the scale shows Iíve lost a pound or
two, I not only stop taking action, but I go looking for
brownies and gain the weight back.
Manipulating the conflict always leads back to the
conflict. To avoid manipulating the conflict, set up
your life so that you're always moving toward what you
want. If the dream is to be healthy and vibrant, to feel
and look good, a different kind of energy will be
applied than to the drudgery of getting rid of the
weight by diet and exercise. Whatís more powerful than
conflict manipulation or problem solving, is to create a
dream that matters more to you than your reality. Every
day, ask yourself, "Am I more committed to my dream
or to my reality?" If the answer is your dream,
take action to prove it to yourself and to others.
Breaking Through Barriers & Beliefs
In the early phases of a dream there is often no
evidence that your dream is a good idea. Or on a big
dream, there may be no evidence that this is the right
time to execute it. But it is your believing in it,
talking about it and acting upon it, that will make it
real. What often stops us from taking action is our
limiting beliefs, and the biggest one is fear. As you
become aware of what you believe and what is stopping
you, you can make better choices.
The decisions you make ultimately result from the
attitudes and beliefs you hold about everything in your
life. The process looks like this:
Your Attitudes & Beliefs
Your Thoughts & Feelings
Your Choices & Decisions
Attitudes and beliefs are at the core of how you
react in the world. If you believe it's possible to make
your dreams come true, yet you don't do it, there's a
gap between where you are and where you want to be. This
gap is comprised of your attitudes and beliefs. The
bigger the negative beliefs, the wider the gap. Perhaps
the voice of your doubter has gotten louder than the
voice of your dreamer.
Attitudes and beliefs are never neutral. They either
move you forward or hold you back. If your dream is to
start your own business but you believe it will be too
hard or that you might fail, your thoughts and feelings
will concur that this is a bad idea and your decision
might be to forget about it. But the same dream with a
belief such as "I can do this" or "I
believe in my dream," will take you to thoughts and
feelings of excitement and hope, and ultimately to the
choice to go for it, or at least to explore it.
Thoughts and Feelings
I mentioned that attitudes and beliefs lead to
thoughts and feelings, which in turn lead to decisions
and choices. If you want to become aware of your
attitudes and beliefs, pay attention to what you're
thinking and feeling. If your dream is to establish a
new career, but your belief is that it's not possible,
what do you think and feel about that? Do you feel
futility, and resigned to the idea that you can't have
your dream? Or, do you think you can have what you want
because you deserve it?
Suppose your dream is to be successful, even famous.
Specifically, you want USA Today to write a
front-page story about you, but you don't believe it's
possible. The logical sequence of your thought process
might be that you don't think it can happen so you
decide not to pursue it.
Now you have the same dream with a different belief.
You believe it's possible to make your dream come true.
Your thought process is, "I think I can make this
happen," and "I think I know who can help
me." Your new choice is to go for it.
Simply changing your belief has shifted your internal
conversation from thinking of your dream as impossible
to seeing its possibilities. Some people think it's
difficult to change a belief and some people think it's
easy; that's just your belief about your beliefs.
To change a belief 1) choose a belief that is positive
over your old limiting belief 2) practice believing it
by 3) acting on it. And 4) acknowledge that you believed
in your dream, acted on it and celebrate your success.
Do you believe it can't be that easy? What if it is
that easy? It's all up to you. You decide whether to
believe or not by acting on it. That's how beliefs work.
One more very important point. If you are not managing
your thoughts by choosing positive beliefs, what you
will get by default are your old limiting beliefs.
This is the most important point. We choose what we
believe. Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet said, "Doubt
is a feeling too lonely to know that Faith is its twin
brother." You choose.
One belief will move you towards what you want and
the other away. Which do you choose. Just remember, if
you choose a positive belief (which I urge you to do)
you must be willing to demonstrate that you believe in
your dream BY TAKING ACTION.
Unexamined negative attitudes can become bigger than
your dream, and turn into insurmountable obstacles after
you're already on the road to what you want. If that
happens, and you're stopped en route, you're unlikely to
reach your dream. Confront and handle those attitudes
now, and they can be used effectively to propel you
toward where you want to be.
In todayís economy the attitude I hear expressed
most often is, "I don't have enough money to pursue
my dream." So I ask, "How much do you
need?" Iíll bet you can guess the common
response. They say, "I donít know how much I
need, but I know I donít have enough." Money is
not usually what stops us, but the fear of not having
enough often can. We too often kill off our dreams
before we explore the possibilities of where they might
take us or how we might get there. Donít say no before
you explore yes.
Sabotaging Your Dreams
People frequently sabotage themselves by putting
their attitudes, beliefs, or fears into their dream. If
you're putting your concerns into your dreams, your
fears will become bigger and seem more real as you move
closer to getting what you want. Your concerns don't
belong in your dream; they're part of where you are now,
not where you're going. If your dream is to be
successful, keep in the "Where I Am Now"
section the fear that you won't have time for friends
and family. Assume for the "Where I Want To
Be" section that, in achieving the dream, you will
have all the time you desire to enjoy your success, your
friends and your family.
Let me make this essential point very clear. The
number one way we sabotage our dreams is by projecting
our fears, doubts and concerns into our dreams. They do
not belong there. If and when you have them, they are
part of your reality. Here you can deal with them by
simply getting clear about what they are, designing a
strategy for managing them and by asking for help.
Are you more committed
to remaining where you are
or to getting where you want to be?
The evidence is in the action you are
or are not taking.
Many of us seem devoted to consistency as a way of
life. Yet the only constant is change. I saw this on a
tip jar in a coffee shop. "If you fear change,
leave it here." You can learn whether you're on the
right path to where you want to be by facing fear and
acknowledging it as a landmark for change. If you were
not moving away from your current identity, if you were
not seeking to change your life, you would not be
Because we think of "change" as filled with
murky unknowns, the ultimate fear may feel like death.
However, the experience is actually the old you dying
away, and allowing you to be transformed. This is good
news. By trusting what you want, often you will be able
to release the part of you that was afraid of making
your dream come true. By shedding the pieces that no
longer fit, you can create a new dream to move toward.
Fear is actually a measurement tool; it means that
you're leaving the old behind; it's a gift that
indicates you are closer to your dream. Fear can be seen
as a healthy and natural mechanism, a sign of vitality,
and evidence that you are in process. Sadly, unless you
learn to use fear as empowerment, it can also stop your
progress. Rather than just blanketing your life by
saying "Iím afraid," practice being more
specific. Afraid of what? The more clarity you have, the
easier it will be to get the support you need to go
through your fear.
Your dream begins to take on life as you envision it,
speak about it and act on it. As you open yourself up to
unlimited possibilities, many things can start to
happen. Follow through on your commitment: walk your
talk. Be a visionary. A visionary has a vision or a
dream, articulates it with clarity and passion, gets
others excited about it and invites them to play. Dream
Big, share your dream and remind others to do the same.
And every day prove to yourself and to the world that
you are going for it. Remember to use these daily
check-ins. Are you more committed to your dream or to
your reality? Are you believing in your positive belief
or your old limiting belief? The answer is in the action
you are taking. Every day do something (at least one
thing) to move your dream forward. Success is
Commitment leads to action
Action brings your dream closer to you.
BIG DREAMING: FIVE PRINCIPLES THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR
BUSINESS & YOUR LIFE
Here are five key values practiced and lived by big
dreamers. I call these Principles for Living On Purpose.
Add more of any one of these to your life and with your
team, and you are guaranteed to see results, including
happier people and a more profitable business They
include: setting an intention, living with integrity,
sharing your dreams, taking action, and building
1. Intention Ė It is the setting of your intention
that will allow wonderful resources, opportunities and
people to show up to support you. You have to be clear,
I mean crystal clear, about where you are going, the end
result you are aiming for. What do you intend to do,
create or accomplish?
When should you set an intention? You may be
surprised by my response. You could set an intention
every day, even every moment of each day. Do you intend
to live on purpose? Do you intend to learn and grow? Do
you intend to be loving and kind?
Here are some times to consider setting an intention:
Before you go to sleep, intend to rest.
Before you open your eyes, intend to have a quiet and
Before you get out of bed, intend to have a fun and
Before you eat breakfast, or any meal, intend to
taste and enjoy it.
Before you leave the house, intend to have a
heartfelt moment with your family.
Before you start your car, intend to have a safe ride
or walk to work.
Before you dive into work, intend to learn something
new and be successful.
And so on. The operative word here is before.
You set an intention and then you take action. These are
simple intentions. We also want to have deeper,
meaningful intentions about how we live our lives. How
do you intend to feel every day? How do you intend to
express your love? How do you intend to express your
creativity? How do you intend to have fun, to make a
contribution, to take a risk? How do you intend to live?
2. Integrity - If you were to survey big dreamers and
successful people on the qualities that they value most,
at the top of the list is usually integrity. Keeping
your word and delivering on your promises is essential.
When you have cleaned up your past and are free to move
forward, not only are your dreams more attainable, they
are richer, deeper and more rewarding. You have the
opportunity to honestly assess your entire life and to
become more alive than you ever imagined. Through simple
steps, you can free your past and make room in the
present, so you can dream and live the life you long
Learn the process that deals with truth, honor and
your word as your bond, and you will experience ease and
shortcuts on your dreams. This principal, best summed up
as maintaining integrity, is the very essence of a true
living dreamer. I know I have integrity when I have
peace of mind. There are no skeletons in my closet, no
incompletions weighing heavily on my shoulders. I am
simply saying that when life flows with ease and grace,
we can trust that we are in the right place, at the
right time, but more importantly than that, we are
living with integrity.
Integrity comes in many forms and fashions, but has
to do with wholeness. Are you whole, are you complete,
and is your life intact? Are your relationships whole,
complete and intact? How about your health, your
finances, your home, your car, your heart? Integrity is
essential not only to being a dreamer, but also to your
well being. If you are indeed intentional and committed
to living a life of joy, ease and abundance, a life
filled with love, generosity and contribution, integrity
is a must. All the money in the world will be worthless
without it, and with all the people in the world you may
still feel lonely, if you are not and can not be true to
yourself. A building can not stand without integrity, a
car can not drive without it, and you certainly can not
have the life of your dreams without it.
For this reason, itís useful to see where your life
is working and perhaps where it is stuck, clogged or
shutdown. I will show you how to take a simple
inventory. This will help you become clear about where
you are and whatís working or not working in your
life, so you can make powerful choices about what you do
and donít want. The difference between where you are
and where you want to be will reveal simple steps that
need to be taken. But this powerful process of exploring
whatís been left unsaid, undone or incomplete in your
life, is one of the most awesome things you can do to
have freedom and access to your dreams.
I have an extremely potent and unbelievably simple
approach to help you do this. But donít be deceived by
its apparent simplicity. This assignment, if undertaken
completely and with full integrity, meaning to the best
of your true ability, may be the most profound thing you
have ever done in your life. And once you clean house
(including mind, body and car) there is a big payoff.
You will experience tremendous peace of mind and greater
ease in your life while accomplishing your new dreams.
Once youíve done this, itís complete and
maintenance is easy. You do not need to go back to being
the "old you" or creating more skeletons in
your closets. Transformation means you have changed and
are living a different kind of life. Once you complete
your incompletions, and practice not creating new ones,
you will know the sweet taste of freedom beyond anything
you have ever experienced.
The Completion Inventory
Here are the three simple steps.
- Ask yourself whatís incomplete here and write it
- Ask yourself what do you need to do to complete
this, and write that down.
- Complete whatís incomplete.
The areas I recommend you visit
should include but not be limited to are: your health, your body, your spirit, your
mind, your work, your home, your relationships, your
car, your legal matters, medical issues, taxes,
insurance. You get the idea.
Thatís it. When you finish, you
will have a list, long or short of things you need to do
to live in integrity. With each item you check off your
list, youíll feel lighter and freer. Youíll gain
more clarity about yourself, your values and your truth.
Youíll find your authentic voice, make better
decisions, pursue bigger dreams and sleep better at
3. Share Your Dream Ė With newfound
clarity (from your intention) and new found freedom
(from living with integrity) the world is your oyster.
Now when you speak about your dream or vision, there
will be nothing in your way. People will relate to you
differently because you will feel different about
yourself. You can move forward with confidence, knowing
that you can trust yourself and therefore, others can
With clarity and focus you will speak
about your dream with a whole new level of passion. You
will feel it in every cell of your body, and you will be
aligned. Passionate living is when we align our head and
heart through our actions. This is also another form of
There are many ways you can share your dream. The
most important thing is that you find your voice. A
visionary is someone with a vision or a dream. But a
visionary also articulates their dream with such clarity
that others understand what it is and with such passion
that others want to participate with them. A visionary
inspires with greater purpose.
And a visionary brings voice to their vision. "A
visionary becomes a true leader, when they can
communicate the vision, " Dick DeVos, the President
of Amway Corporation told me during a recent interview.
They let their dream be heard and have impact. Sometimes
it is a popular message and sometimes they are one lone
voice. Regardless, they hold true to what they believe
in, to what inspires them, and they bring it alive in
the world through their convictions, words and of
There is a reason the throat lies between our head
and heart. True communications asks us to feel what
matters to us and what we are passionate about, and then
to process it into thoughts and ideas. When you express
your heartís desire through words and language, others
can share it and become a part of it. It is through
language, the what we say, when we say it, and most
importantly, how we say it, that connects us with others
and creates amazing outcomes.
4. Take action Ė When all is said and done, it is
essential that you put everything you have learned into
action. Although words are powerful, they are not
enough. Actions speak even louder than words. You must
take the necessary steps forward by taking action; get
mobile and get going. It is through the steps you do
take, that you can actually see what you have learned,
the progress you are making, where you are stuck and
where you need help. Without action, we are
"just" dreamers. And without progress we may
simply be day dreaming or fantasizing, accomplishing
It is what you do, that actually demonstrates to you
and others, that you are not just talking about your
dreams and they are not casual flights of fancy. Taking
action is power. People judge us much more based on what
we do, not just what we say. This may sound so simple,
perhaps even understated, but to not mention it and
emphasize the importance of it would make this process
incomplete. What action will you or are you taking to
move your dream forward? What are you doing to make your
dreams real? Specifically, what are you doing to create
a dream come true life?
In my work, I always ask people to create a
"WOW." Within One Week, whatís a powerful
step you will take to catapult your dream forward? Big
dreamers take many steps every single day as they are
constantly and continuously in action on their dreams.
Whatís one thing you could do today, right now, to
demonstrate your commitment to your dream? One call, one
email, one conversation that you can have today?
Everything changes when you take action.
5. Build DreamTeams. Once you are clear about what you
want to accomplish and you speak about your goals
clearly, you will begin to experience the ease and joy
that comes from sharing your dream with others. The
single most powerful thing you can to realize your dream
and shortcut the process is to build DreamTeams. Find
like minded people who share your dreams, values and
integrity, and you will be unstoppable.
Yes, I know there are dream killers and dream
stealers out there, but I promise you this. With
intention and integrity, you will weed them out. You
will no longer waste energy with people who do not
support your dreams. This does not mean you will abandon
your friends or family, but you will make room if your
life for big dreamers and you will delight in who shows
up. And as your family watches you move into action on
the dreams that you have been talking about, or thinking
about, and as they watch you joyfully produce
life-changing results, even some of your most hardcore
skeptics may have a change of heart.
Build awesome DreamTeams. Begin with one person who
believes in you and your dream. Then seek out others.
Inspire them with your vision and passion. Show them you
are serious through the action you take every day.
Invite the to join you as you encourage them to dream
bigger dreams. Even with an existing team or downline,
you can re-ignite passion and produce far better results
when you begin to operate as a DreamTeam. When we
connect our financial goals to our dreams and desires,
the energy for achieving our goals becomes much more
dynamic and meaningful. This is the power of going for
your dreams and sharing them with your team.
The world needs your dreams. Itís never been a
better time to take a stand for what matters to you
most. Stand up, speak out and be heard. Your dreams
matter and will impact the lives of many people. Be
generous with what you value, for this too is a form of
integrity and intention.
© Copyright 2004 Marcia Wieder. All Rights Reserved.
Marcia Wieder (Marsha Weeder)
Oprah Winfrey called Marcia Wieder Americaís
Dream Coach. Marcia built a three million dollar
marketing company based in Washington D.C. and in
1989, announced she was leaving that business to move
to California to help people achieve their dreams.
Marcia travels extensively
presenting workshops on visionary planning and team
building to companies such as Lucent, State Farm,
AT&T, American Express and The Young Presidents'
Organization. She is committed to re-igniting passion in
the business world and making the world a better place.
Marcia has written 3 books, Making
Your Dreams Come True, Life Is But A Dream
and Doing Less and Having More,
and she is near completion of her first novel. She leads
Dream Coachģ University in San Francisco, a week-long
curriculum where she teaches and certifies Dream Coaches
to lead her work, which you are invited to attend.
She has appeared several times
on Oprah and The Today Show, and PBS featured her in her
own national television special called Making Your
Dreams Come True. She teaches at the Stanford
Business School and at Girl Scout Camp.
Marcia is a member of the
National Speakers Association, the Direct Selling
Association and past president of the National
Association of Women Business Owners. She lives in her
"dream" city of San Francisco where she is
pursuing her dream of living at the water, balancing
work and play, with much more emphasis on play.
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