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Guest Article: Be Happy Now!

Valerie


“Happiness is when what you think, what you say,
and what you do are in harmony.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

I’m pleased to offer you a guest article today by Arne Klingenberg, author of Yes I Am Happy Now! His article, “Be Happy Now!” offers us insightful ingredients and secrets for creating a happy life.

Enjoy and be happy!


Arnie Klingenberg“Be Happy Now!
by Arne Klingenberg

How do we find joy and happiness? Can we be happy all the time?

Yes, you can be happy — now — and all the time! And it is a lot easier than you might think it is… Let’s start with defining happiness. Just think back to a very happy moment in your life. How did you feel? Yes, you were joyful and playful — you were laughing and smiling. You felt relaxed and confident — totally at ease with yourself — completely satisfied.

These are all common characteristics of happy people. Of course we all have different tastes and preferences in life — these are individual choices and we should respect each person’s right to choose for themselves….In the same way as we can define a happy person, we can identify the common mistakes that prevent us from being happy and joyful. When you feel truly happy, you can’t be angry at the same time — or sad and depressed. You can’t be joyful and stressed out at the same time. In your happy moment you didn’t worry about the future.

I define emotions as a re-active feeling. They are based upon a fact or an event from the past, or something anticipated in the future. For example, anger or fear. In a sense, they are not real although they certainly appear to be at times. Emotions like regrets, self pity, sadness, worries, anxiety and guilt are negative in the sense that they disrupt our goal of being a happier person. We can’t be really happy when we are thrown around constantly by emotions. As mentioned before, emotions appear to be real, but once we have learned to deal with them, they won’t be anymore. I don’t suggest to just suppress these emotions, to put them in a little corner of our mind and lock them up. No, on the contrary. How does it work? Let’s take anger as an example because it is a primetime killer of joy and happiness. The less time we spend being annoyed or outright angry, the happier we will be.

Some experts would not agree with this; they say that expressing emotions like anger is important for a healthy balance. But anger always attracts more anger… Whenever we vent our anger we may feel relieved for a moment, but in reality, more anger has been added to all the past anger accumulated and stored deep within. And our latent anger potential can become more easily activated. The solution must be permanent and not just temporary if we want to be very happy all the time. Of course it is important to be assertive and have the confidence to confront people if necessary, but being emotionally involved to the point where our anger is accompanied by high blood pressure is very counter-productive. We can calmly make our points, stay centered and calm — and happy! So many people are constantly pushing and shoving around anger, guilt and blame. I call the sum total of negativity swirling around “emotional smog.” Some people can feel it consciously and others unconsciously — nevertheless, it always produces unwanted effects. In order to stop participating actively or being affected by the anger of others, we have to first clean up all the past and stored anger within ourselves. That is not a hard thing to do although it may sound like.

Once we’ve succeeded, we have literally departed from — or “checked out” of — this particular frequency or wavelength of energy. Angry vibes have nothing left to resonate with. You may not reach that point right from the start but then again — why not? You can do it if your really want! This may or may not sound esoteric to you, and yet, that’s how it works.

Once you have checked out of all lower vibrating energy frequencies that disturb your joy and happiness, you will freely decide how you react to people and events.  In other words, you are in charge of your life and you happiness.

Click here to continue reading “Be Happy Now!”

Copyright Arne Klingenberg. All Rights Reserved.

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Wishing you a wonderfully happy day!!

Soulfully,
Valerie




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  • Pam

    OK, so I am generally a happy person, and I strive to remember to be always. However, and I must say however, my husband made his transition to the other side just over 16 months ago. And although, I totally understand and get and feel and even communicate with his presence on a regular basis, I still miss and am quite saddened and even sometimes angered that he is not physically with me still.
    I even sometimes get upset with myself that I cannot reach joy always. My grandchildren help bring me out regularly. I totally feel joy when I am with them, or even think about them.
    I would like to hear about how one is to grieve and mourn a loved one’s passing and still be in joy.
    Thanks
    Pam

    • Pam, thanks for writing. My deepest sympathies to you on the loss of your husband. I have suffered many losses and know the pain of grief well. Anger is a very natural and important stage of grief. Don’t deny yourself your anger. You pose a very good question and I will contact the author, Arnie Klingenberg, and see if he has some specific advice for you, ok.

      Love and blessings,

      Valerie

    • I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved husband Pam, and wish you lots of strength and many moments full of love, peace and happiness.

      The following lines are my attempt to hopefully be somewhat of help:

      To lose a loved one is certainly the toughest experience one can go through in life, and by default, sooner or later this happens to all of us. The loss of a beloved husband/wife/partner is particularly hard to fathom, and so is the premature death of one’s child.

      Missing a loved one is a good thing that should be welcomed, rather than trying to be overcome. While we miss someone dearly we are actually closest together, spirit to spirit, soul to soul.

      We can experience this while the beloved is still with us in the here and now. Sometimes we get only briefly separated and other times for a whole day, week or even longer, and all we can think of is our darling. What is s/he doing right now? Is s/he alright? And so on. We miss the person during the day, at night and while waking up in the morning, deeply thinking, missing and loving him/her. And when we’re honest with ourself, these are often the moments we enjoy our partner more than when we’re right next to each other, perhaps watching TV or getting otherwise occupied with our chores or little daily routines, when we take the other somewhat (unintentionally) for granted to the point of hardly looking or smiling at each other, even noticing as s/he is such a normal presence we simply ‘got used’ to…

      So in a way we love and treasure each other more intensely when we are not together, when we miss each other.
      There is no real separation in love. Love is us and it transcends time and space.

      So don’t try to gradually forget a loved one and ‘move on’. It is not possible anyway. Yes, you can (learn to once again) move from one happy and joy-filled moment to the next in life, and yet those will and should always include the moments you feel deeply connected in love, missing each other, talking with each other, asking questions, remembering the joyful moments experienced together, and even sharing a laugh or smile.

      That last bit may sound a bit strange, and yet it is what I’ve experienced when a dearly loved one was actually smiling at me, making a really funny joke about the sad music playing at her funeral, and even though I was so sad, I had a happy moment when we laughed together, somewhere somehow in a dimension we shared.

      To feel anger at a loved departed one is very normal and should not be suppressed either; after all it is a sign of love. Allow the anger and connect again in love and you will come to understand ever deeper why and how something has happened, gain increasingly deeper insights into your life and his/her. Because when we love we easily and naturally understand. We can’t blame or feel guily when we love. Love truly understands.

      And love is the ultimate connection. It is faster than the speed of light, even the speed of mind. It is the most direct and intimate embrace there is. And yes, we will always miss hearing the voice and feeling the physical presence of the beloved, for as long as we inhabit our physical body. But remember, we *are* the soul or spirit, as opposed to those who mistake themselves to be their body plus having a soul somehow and somewhere…

      When we communicate with someone and refer to the other purely as being a body, it would be just the same as when we talked to his/her clothes… imagine that! 🙂

      When we are united in love we are feeling joy, even if there is a lingering pain that we are physically separated. But in those moments when all we feel is pure love for our partner and feel loved by him/her, we feel joy and happiness, heart to heart, soul to soul. Welcome, treasure and enjoy these moments to the fullest.

      Sometimes we may even experience physical sensations while being immersed in love, feelings of relief, sensations of light, the quickening of energy flows, a tingling of nerves in our brain or body, pulsating muscles, flashes of pictures or other mental insights, and so on. It will be healing and helping you to cope, feeling ever better to the point of being able to enjoy life once again, as much as possible, more and more. Every day.

      Do remember him/her every day. For me it’s an everyday moment, before breakfast, to light an incense in front of a particularly nice picture with a beautiful fresh flower next to it. I remember and reflect, miss and love, have a word, and by now usually end up with a loving smile. Keep a few favorite pictures in a couple of places only (not in every room as you need to have some space for your current ‘solo’ life and that includes a bit of ‘privacy’ too) and treasure them. Dust and change them from time to time. Remember all anniversaries and special days/dates you had together by cooking a nice meal, or going out to a special place.

      Raise your glass and make a toast. Celebrate the life of your loved one, admire the achievements made, talk about him/her with love and appreciation for the good times you spent in this wonderful and heroic adventure we call life.

      Cry whenever you feel like it. Don’t force yourself to be all gay and cheerful all the time. It must be real, and it will be so again. Let the tears wash away your pain, but hang onto your love and fully let yourself go in its gentle embrace. And increasingly, you will cry tears of love in separation and actually feel good, instead of crying out of self-pity that only feels bad and separates you from enjoying the fruits of your mutual love.

      And finally, remember that love is never possessionary or exclusionary. It is self-sufficient and radiating, being its own reward. So love leaves room for loving others as well. The more the merrier. There are many types or flavors of love. They all come in the active and passive form. And none have to come at the exclusion of others. After some time has passed, it is even possible to find another love in the here and now, to spend time and do pleasant things together. Of course, that will neither replace our loved one nor negate or diminish our mutual love. Real love is eternal. It is always well-wishing, only wanting the best for each other…

      Feeling depressed upon losing a loved one is normal for a while, sometimes for a very long while. Researchers have found that people who were suffering grief had higher blood pressure and an increased heart rate. It can weaken our immune system. And our heart pains can lead to a real heart attack. This would be completely uncalled for, certainly by our beloved who wishes nothing more than us to be healthy and happy during our remaining days in our bodies — while already looking forward to welcoming and seeing us again when it is our time to leave this dimension. For meeting again we will, for sure. Because like attract like. Those who love each other will always attract each other, no matter the obstacles, no matter the dimensions. Love is the instant and infallible guiding light that brings and keeps us together.

      The loss of a loved one is not the end. It is the beginning of a deepening of our relationship.

      It is also helping us to remember who we really are. To grow beyond the mirage of this particular dimension, preparing us to make the transition ourselves, for we all have to do that one day. In a way it is even making it easier for us as we look so much forward to seeing each other again. Our love literally opens the door to the eternal spiritual worlds.

      With love,
      Arne

      • That is really beautiful, Arne. It brought tears to my eyes. Really beautiful and insightful. Thank you so much for replying to Pam’s question. In Happiness, Valerie 🙂

  • Sam

    Everything in this world changes, nothing is constant. When we base our happiness on material things or on people, we set ourselves up for possible disappointment and/or loss. Instead of becoming emotionally attached to the things of the world we are told that it is better to set up our treasures in things of the Spirit that are eternal. [“Make for yourselves purses which don’t grow old, a treasure in the
    heavens that doesn’t fail, where no thief approaches, neither moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
    (Luke 12: 31-34)]

    It is through total acceptance of all circumstances, regardless of whether they are pleasant or distressing, that we find the inner strength to cope with disappointments and loss, and are able to be happy. [“He who is everywhere non-attached, neither joyously excited by encountering good, nor disturbed by evil, has an established wisdom.” (Bhagavad Gita)]

    We maintain happiness by being “centered” in faith, knowing that all is well because the Spirit of God is always with us. [“We know that all things work together for good for those who love God. For
    I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor
    principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor
    height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to
    separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 28, 38-39)]

    • Thanks for contributing to the conversation, Sam. I enjoyed your comment. Blessings, Valerie

  • Pingback: Uniting in Love and Joy with a Departed One | Daily Soul Retreat()

  • Pam

    Arne, Thank you for such a heartful response. It meant a lot to me that you took so much time and energy to provide such a full and deep response. I cried healing tears while reading it.
    Gratefully
    Pam