by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Every month, the "Romance
Reverend" shares her sage insights on relationships
and getting ready for soulful love! Send your
questions to RomanceRev@SoulfulLiving.com.
Tips for Preparing for Summer
A Fun Visual of Your Perfect Romance
I read that in order to achieve something we must
first visualize it. I am having a hard time visualizing
my perfect love. Will that prevent me from finding my
soul mate? ~Alyssa from Venice, California.
I don’t believe anything will prevent you from
finding your soul mate – when you are ready and when
he is ready and when you time comes… but there are
some visual cues that can help you in the process of
getting ready for love. It could be that you are
more of an "auditory" or
"kinesthetic" person, meaning your relate
more, primarily, by hearing things or through your
feelings about things. Although you don’t have
to visualize – i.e. see pictures or movies in your
head – it can’t hurt to surround yourself with
visual images that support your journey toward that
I suggest you create a "Soul Mate Treasure
Map." Treasure mapping supports visualization by
placing images that represent our goals, dreams and
hopes right in front of our faces! It stimulates
conscious awareness and conscious creation of our goals,
and it acts as a visual message board for the brain. In
a gentle and quite way it feeds images of our desires
and romantic goals to our subconscious minds in a way
that draws us closer to our dreams. Creating a Soul Mate
Treasure Map can be a great way to nurture us, and our
relationships-to-be, in a way that is light-hearted and
Begin by cutting out photos, pictures, headlines,
sayings from magazines and other sources that represent
the images you associate with your soul mate, and the
relationship of your dreams. Include images that reflect
the way you want to look, feel, be, behave, travel and
live. Include couples that are happy and loving, in the
way you want to be with your beloved. Include
images of life experiences you would choose as part of
your life together with your soul mate. Buy a nice big
piece of oak tag poster board and grab some scissors and
some glue. Then just sit down on a floor with all your
pictures and have a blast creating your personalized
collage. Just the act of looking for the pictures you
want to place on the treasure map will heighten your
visualization skills – and begin to stimulate images
of the love you choose in your mind. As you mount them
into a collage, begin to imagine – and sense – that
you are literally constructing a blue print for your
life. Make sure the images you choose truly represent
what you want – from couples dancing romantically, to
a happy couple cooking in the kitchen, to a bride and
groom at the altar (if that’s what you want!) Then you
can keep this visual reminder of the love and love
relationship you choose in your bedroom, or any place
you can gaze at it regularly. If you are an extremely
private person, or if you have roommate, this can be
done in a low-key way and kept in a closet, or, it can
be done on a smaller scale, on a journal book or a
loose-leaf notebook. This is relationship arts and
crafts! Be creative and have fun.
Try on the
"State" of Summer Love… Just For Fun!
warm, insidious ache blossomed slowly inside her.
heard herself moan with soft pleasure and delight,
Blake’s Hand gently stroked her flesh.
his palms she felt herself fill with desire.
I remember when I first read that passage from a
romance novel, I wondered: Who is this Blake character
and is he available for a summer share (of my body) for
July and August? The year was 1984, and I had penciled
in only one appointment for two hot and breezy months…
Some seventeen years later, I am thinkin’ … that’s
what is missing from the lives of us soulful, adult
women. We take love so seriously… we work so
hard to get it right. What would happen if we
could get into that old summer love consciousness and
toss our cares, old broken hearts and most of our
relationship expectations to the wind? We’d be
liberated … and free to love without attachment or
The idea is Summer Love, in its truest essence, is a
very Buddhist thing – no attachments, and full
acceptance that it will end, sometime. Along the way we
make it point to have as much fun, excitement, new
experiences, passion and joy we can. We don’t worry
about the consequences and we have no expectations of
the outcome. Traditionally, with Summer Love we are not
imagining who we’ll invite to the wedding by the third
date – unlike, admit it, the non-summer soul mate
season when a third date inspires thoughts of "this
could be it!"
For all you girls at heart, I suggest a break from
seriousness, and a fling with lighthearted love. When
you take the charge off finding the perfect love, and
are willing to indulge in a little carefree romance, you
will be surprised how much easier it may be to see love
and relationships in a new light that supports your long
I asked some friends to remember Summer Love. Most of
them remembered it as being that magical summer fling in
camp, in a resort community, or during the last vacation
they took with their parents. Back then, daring was
French kissing beneath the moonlight, and staying out
past midnight without permission. But there is no law
that says we responsible, grown up soulful females can’t
have our own adult version of summer love.
Just consider it Advanced Summer Love, and consider
yourself duly entitled to as much passion, romance and
fun as you can muster. "The whole point is to be
caught up in the romance and the heat of the moment, and
to be spontaneous," recalls my friend Charlotte,
for whom Summer Love was a prerequisite to college.
"There are a lot of spur of the moment adventures.
You don’t mind if he shows up unexpectedly at midnight
– you love it. At any other time, if a guy shows up
without calling, you break up with him for being
invasive! In fact, you don’t mind anything he does.
Time is short and nit-picking and trying to transform
him into the perfect man is just not an issue."
Imagine what could happen to our love lives if we
approached them from this Summer Love perspective: We’d
be in a state of surrender, which would make it a little
easier for True Love to find us. In winter, our
potential soul mates have to battle the winter bulge of
the armor covering our hearts, and slay the dragon of
our mindsets that says perfect love must look, behave
and feel a certain way. In the state of Summer Love, we
are lighter and airier!
Here are some guidelines for Advanced Summer Love
1. Pencil in ROMANCE in big red letters across your
calendar for July and August. This will be your first
symbolic gesture to the universe that "yes, I am
getting that loving feeling and I am opening to my
2. Get into "summer love consciousness" and
include it as part of your spiritual practice. Meditate,
pray, visualize, and daydream about hot and passionate
summer days with an oh-so-special Summer Lover.
3. Be spontaneous and gain some mastery over your
issues about control and surrender. Learn to go with the
4. Use this list of the qualities of your ideal
summer love and read it every day for the next thirty
days; add in your own. By the time July rolls around,
true summer love will be getting closer!
Be sure to include on your list these essential
summer love qualities. (I’ve used the pronoun
"He," but feel free to adapt to your needs).
Your Summer Love:
- Glances at you in a way that makes you feel you are
the only two human beings on the planet.
- Communicates passion and appreciation with stunning
- Can dissolve all your concerns and worries, as well
as inspire the ole’ "insidious ache" with
just one kiss.
- Is a breath-taking hunk of handsomeness and sexiness
in your eyes, with a body and manner that makes you want
to surrender to love.
- Has a master’s degree in sexual healing, Tantra
and the art of love.
- Is so passionate, romantic and alluring that even if
your favorite movie star called for a date, you wouldn’t
leave your Summer Love?
- For an entire summer he is yours – body, mind and
spirit – and your are his, and you revel in your own
vulnerability and willingness.
- You have frequent out of body experiences in his
- You really like him a lot
- He will say, more than once, "You are the most
beautiful (sexy, gorgeous, etc.) woman I have ever
seen," "I love the your spirit (soul, who you
are, etc.)," "Let’s do it somewhere
Remember, it may seem like a summer fling, but Summer
Love Consciousness is actually an educational
experience. True, you many learn new things about the
human anatomy – on beaches and in beautiful natural
areas – but you will also learn how to lighten up
about love and expectations. Summer Love Consciousness
is a state of mind you can enter any time… your soul
mate will ultimately be ever so happy to meet you there,
in the land of carefree abandon, where love can speak
for itself and have a chance to grow.
Everyone has a favorite summer love story. what is yours?
Everyone has a favorite summer love story.
What is yours?
© Copyright 2001
Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway All Rights Reserved.
Reverend Laurie Sue's Current Column
Reverend Laurie Sue's Past Columns:
2001 - "Someday Your Mystical Soul Mate Will Come"
2001 - "Enjoy the Merriment and Fun of An Ancient Love
2001 - "Nourish Yourself on a Date for One"
2001 - "Get Ready for Soulful Love"
Reverend Laurie Sue
Brockway is an author, teacher and contemporary clergy
person who specializes in matters of the heart and soul.
As an ordained interfaith minister and
non-denominational wedding officiant, it is her honor to
regularly marry couples in love. Prior to becoming a
minister she enjoyed a successful and colorful 20 years
in media as a widely published journalist, editor and
author of eight books on relationships and
romance—as well as being a noted spokesperson
on those topics. She was editor-in-chief of two national
magazines and several regional publications, and her
articles have been published around
the world and in many newspapers and national magazines,
such as the NY Daily News, The Washington Post,
Women’s News, New Woman, Ladies’
Home Journal and Child. She evolved years of
specialized reporting in the field of male-female
relationship dynamics into a more spiritual pursuit that
led her to train to be an interfaith minister, and then
establish her wedding ministry along with her popular
relationship enhancement programs.
She continues to write on weddings, soul mates and enhancing relationships,
as well as teach on those topics. She's on the faculty of The Seminar Center
and MyPotential.com. and trains other ministers through World Light
Fellowship. She is a graduate of the New Seminary and a member of The
Association of Interfaith Ministers. Her wedding ministry is based in New